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Today I Learned The Creator Of "Full House" Lives In An $85 Million Mansion On The Land Of The Manson Family Murders

 

 

Yeah that title is a hell of a Mad Libs but it's 100% accurate and mind blowing. Who knew Jeff Franklin, the creator of Full House, had money like THAT. I mean, it makes sense in theory I guess, Full House was wildly popular when it was on and is still part of pop culture in 2022. Re-runs are on all the time, they rebooted it recently, and obviously syndication money can add up over the years. But $85 million house money? Well god damn, spank me on the ass and call me Charlie, I need to go create a TV show with a zany uncle and wacky kids. 

And the interior is fucking gorgeous man

 

 

I do have a take though, and I've wanted to blog about it for a while but never have- houses like this are too big. It's true. This one "only" has 9 bedrooms and 18 bathrooms, but 21,000 square feet gives me the worst anxiety in the world. Someone could be living in your house for weeks before you noticed. I'm sure they have state of the art security system installed (I'd hope), but even still, 21,000 square feet and 18 bathrooms is a labyrinth, a god damn maze that I'd never find my way out of.  You know what I think about all the time, living on my own? If I take too big of a bite of my sandwich and start choking, I'm just dead. there's nobody here to save me. Now multiply my one bedroom apartment times a zillion, living in a thing like that, I'd constantly be worried about EVERYTHING. Mo' money, mo' problems I suppose. 

The good news about this house though is it comes with ghosts, which probably explain the hefty price tag.

 

WSJ - The property is located on Cielo Drive, on land that once contained the house where the actress Sharon Tate and others were murdered by the Manson Family in 1969. The house where the murders occurred was demolished by a previous owner in the 1990s. 

Mr. Franklin called the connection to the Manson murders “irrelevant” and “ancient history.” “It’s had absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever,” he said.

 

Bro, WHAT? You can't live in a haunted house and call the murders "irrelevant". He's hiding something. He's talking tough for the WSJ, but nobody can live in a haunted mansion and not think there's also ghosts there. 

Shit. The more I read this Wall Street Journal article, the more I realize the type of fuck you money he has:

 

Mr. Franklin, who is 66 but said he could easily pass for 47, said he is selling the property because he recently relocated to Miami, where records show he has spent more than $48 million assembling land on the exclusive Venetian Islands. Noting that he was attracted to Miami’s tropical vibe and the boating lifestyle, he said he is in the final stages of designing a new home there with Mr. Landry, the same architect who designed the Beverly Hills home. He joked that he had paid so much for the land that people were putting up statues of him all around South Florida as thanks for how much he had driven up property values there.

“I swore I’d never do this again,” he said. “But I looked around and tried to find something that I liked there and I couldn’t find anything. So I just decided to bite the bullet and build something myself.”

 

What a fucking boss. He also has 6 aquariums there, shark tanks, waterfalls, and a waterslide. I think I'm a Jeff Franklin fan now. Having money sounds awesome. I hope to find out one day.