Oscar Mayer's Bologna Face Mask Looks Fucking Tasty & You Can't Tell Me Otherwise
NY Post- If you’re a cold-cut lover, one of the most dividing debates is whether to call your sandwich a “hero” or a “sub” — we’ll leave that unanswered. However, there’s an even meatier topic at hand: Do you put bologna on your face?
Sure, if you’re a cafeteria kid poking holes in your bologna to make a face you may have been silly enough to do. But apparently, that’s not just reserved for the kids anymore.
Oscar Mayer’s new Bologna Hydrogel Sheet Face Mask on Amazon, although containing no meat, is one of the buzzworthy, unexpected things to come out of 2022 — and we’re not even three weeks in.
We thought we’d be tired of hearing about masks after the trying pandemic-ridden years we’ve faced (read: best KF94 masks) but, for $5, it’s a mask that certainly wowed us.
What a move by that dog tycoon Oscar Mayer here! There's a lot of folks out there in this world that need to put face masks on at night to get their skin a little moisturized and if bologna is what it takes then bologna is what we're gonna get. I'm not afraid to admit that I could definitely use more face masks when I'm just laying around so what better way to rev one (like myself's) engine than to make it a bologna face mask?
Now I know on the exterior the whole idea of a face mask of one of the most disrespected cold cuts sounds gross, though when you really think about it it's not THAT bad. I'd easily rather have a face mask made up of bologna than say turkey or sopresseta, correct? That slimy texture on the higher class Italian meats surely is not the best and the pure blandess along with the smell of the turkey would just be repulsive. I'm also not afraid to admit that I happen to think bologna both smells great and tastes way better than most people out there say.
At the end of the day we need to put some more respect on bologna's name as an upper-class deli meat and what better way to do that than through a face mask? Thank you, Oscar Mayer. Bologna is beautiful.