Philadelphia Eagles Front Office Press Conferences Are Filled With So Much Bullshit It's Borderline Comical

Let me preface this blog by saying almost ALL sports press conferences, post/pregame interviews, and most interactions are pointless and bullshit. It's all fluff and they're just saying stuff to not cause any controversy. Sure, you may get a slip up here and there, something entertaining, or a real all-time unforgettable moment (RIP John Chaney). But Philadelphia Eagles pressers from the owner, GM, and head coach have become so pointless and BULLSHIT I'm almost shocked the media continues to give them the time of day. Well, no I'm not. The NFL/Eagles could come out to the podium, not say a word, whip it out, and simply piss down every person's throat and the media will still eat it up and report. Table scraps from ruthless rulers still feed the family. 

But let's breakdown what was wrong with today when Eagles GM Howie Roseman and head coach Nick Sirianni, whom I'm just relieved wasn't wearing a printout of this torso as a t-shirt, took the podium after the first round embarrassment to the Tampa Bay Bucs. Right out of the gate Howie was specifically asked about Jalen Hurts and he tried HARD to give a typical Howie answer that doesn't do dick: 

LOVE seeing no-BS/jam band fan/serial Twitter blocker Reuben Frank hold Howie to an real answer instead of just drinking the verbal vomit. Now, how real of an answer was it? Well, the media is obviously running with it because that's what the Eagles GM says! It must be true! All Hail Honest Howie! 

Hey, these good folk are just doing their jobs and reporting on what they're told. The Eagles GM said it so it must be true, right? Huzzah for Howie! But let's take a look at what the Eagles GM said about Carson Wentz this time last year during the SAME press conference: 

Shots fired Jim Abbott and JPP. But what an insane quote in general, let alone directly before trading the franchise QB (who Howie signed to a record extension a year before that). 

THE DUDE IS COMPARING LOSING CARSON WENTZ TO LOSING A FUCKING BODY PART INSINUATING THEY CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HIM NOT BEING AN EAGLE. 

Annnndddd a few weeks later there goes the finger. Interesting. So, yeah, Jalen Hurts might have "Grabbed the bull by the horns" but Carson Wentz was, this time last year, literally attached to the Eagles GM. Take that for what it's worth. Is it dishonesty? Eh, maybe. I'd say it's more hedging his bet. Howie always has shady shit going on behind the scenes and playing the politics is what Howie does best: 

I seriously believe Howie could be the campaign manager and lead advisor of ANYONE and make them President. He's that cunning. The man will do whatever it takes to survive no matter the cost to others or the good as a whole. 

And then there's Nicky "Aw Shucks" Sirianni, the only first year head coach to make the playoffs in 2021. Awesome. He deserves credit and earned time to see what can do with this team. As far as press conferences, would it be great if he could be asked a simple yes or no football question and not spend 4 hours giving a response while referencing everything from botany, Nietzsche, and Iverson's crossover in the process? Sure. But that's just the way he is, so we've learned to live with it at this point. I'm more concerned about his answers to a very specific question today that should've delivered a response more grounded in, you know, fucking reality: 

Reporter: "How do you feel about the WR situation?" 

Nick: "I feel really good about our WR group as a whole."

Giphy Images.

OK. Maybe Nick was just being politically cautious and didn't want to elaborate. But he did. Boy oh boy he did. To summarize:

DeVonta Smith is a surefire #1 WR in the NFL - OK. Fair. And factual.

Quez Watkins is a solid #2 WR in the NFL - Um…excuse me? Quez Watkins, the speedy 6th round draft pick who shows flashes but is clearly not consistent enough to have earned a spot outside of Special Teams on a good NFL team, let alone being regarded as a NUMBER TWO OPTION AT WIDE RECIEVER!?!? Maybe one day…but WTF Nick???

And the best part of the press conference - TWO FOR ONE SPECIAL: Sirianni is happy with the tremendous talent Jalen Reagor, who obviously needs to show more production, as a #3 WR (I fucking repeat, Sirianni is happy with the former 1st round draft pick as a NUMBER THREE WR) and Nick spefically shouted out JJAW, former 2nd round pick, for his IMPORTANT role as a BLOCKING WIDE RECIEVER. 

Giphy Images.

What world are we living in? Is this still reality? Obviously it's bullshit and they're not going to throw these guys under the bus at a post-year press conference, BUT CAN WE STOP CELEBRATING A FIRST AND SECOND ROUND PICK FOR UNPROVEN TALENT AND MOTHERFUCKING STALK BLOCKING. Christ Almighty. And it's not even the DK Metcalf's or Justin Jefferson's taken directly after these bum selections anymore (it is, but still). These guys are HISTORTICALLY awful on their own. Just read this shit: 

All in all, OK year. Let's improve. Get healthy. Draft right. And don't take a single fucking thing Howie Roseman or Nick Sirianni says to heart because it's all probably bullshit. 

And follow Rone, myself, and other Philly scumbags on our podcast First Time, Long Time. We'll hang up and listen.