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The Gates Opening For Standing Room Only Tickets At Today's 49ers-Cowboys Game Looks Like Pure BEDLAM

I'm not sure if it's because I'm an Old, a Fat, or just a rational human, but I think I'd pass on running for my life like The Hunger Games just started so I can be a few rows closer to the field to watch my team in a playoff game. I get that you can save a bunch of money by buying Standing Room Only tickets like Aaron Rodgers saves a bunch of money on his insurance using. But we all know the best part of going to an NFL game is tailgating. Why cut that short to instead wait in a long line full of other people looking to save a buck then dash for your seat? Fuuuuuuuck that.

Actually you know what? I take everything back I just said in that previous paragraph because I have been doing shit all week just to get myself a few hours of peace to watch football and would gladly throw bows at complete strangers for my seat like I am flying Southwest. For any dads in the same boat, here are the three tips to ensure your NFL Sundays won't completely suck.

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P.S. I looooooove seeing more red in that video than Carl sees 82 times a year on the hardwood. I've heard so many people say they like the Niners today, I'm actually scared of the Cowboys winning this game and going on a run. So any way possible this game can sound like it's a road game or at the very least a neutral field game is a W in my mind and I imagine people that will scrap for their seats won't exactly be quiet during a playoff game.