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The Giants Announce That Dave Gettleman Is """Retiring"""


Can you have a Victory Monday the day after your team lost its sixth game in a row by 2 or more scores? Because I'll tell ya, today sure as hell doesn't feel like a loss after firing the guy that led the Giants to a 19-46 record as GM. Oh wait, excuse me. Dave Gettleman """RETIRED""" just like Tom Coughlin """"RESIGNED"""".

We'll see what happens with Joe Judge since I'm starting to think John Mara actually forgot that today is the day NFL teams fire their coaches.

Judge leaving after the season was never a definite while Gettleman was, so I'm going to keep my Judge Is Fired blog in drafts until we hear more and proceed with the Gettleman Is Gone blog I wrote last night. Cool? Cool.

UPDATE: Well shit.

I guess I have to write my Joe Judge is staying blog now. While I'm doing that, you can relive the lowest moments of the Dave Gettleman Era!


Dave Gettleman took over a Giants team that was in salary cap hell, had an awful offensive line, and didn't have a stable answer at quarterback. He leaves the Giants as a team with that is in salary cap hell, has an awful offensive line, and doesn't have a stable answer at quarterback. Years from now when you tell your children's children how bad Dave Gettleman was as the general manager of the Giants, they will push back that it couldn't have been THAT bad because children are inherently stupid beings. But you can have them call Uncle Clem and I'll tell them every word you said was accurate.

Giphy Images.

I gave Gettleman the nickname Gettlefinger because I was convinced there was no way he actually meant the quotes he said or idiotic things he did that were immediately ripped apart by fans of all 32 NFL teams along with every member of the media because he must be a troll. A rabble rouser if you may like Littlefinger from Game of Thrones, looking to burn down the world in chaos then climb out of it on a ladder of ashes.



We can talk about the awful draft picks, confusing trades, terrible contracts, or that the Giants didn't spend a SINGLE day during his four years as GM with a winning record. But Giants fans have been talking about that pretty much since the moment Gettleman started adding gasoline on the dumpster fire this franchise has become and honestly I'll throw up if I have to think about them any more before sending this asshole to his Cape Cod retirement.

A bunch of people have been harping on this during the last week, yet it truly is crazy that the Giants let Gettleman finish out his tenure before heading out to this """retirement""" send off while they fired two time Super Bowl champion GM Jerry Reese before the season ended, even if he was a part of ordering the Code Red on Eli Manning's starting streak that got us into this whole mess and gave the green light to draft Ereck Flowers and Eli Apple. And of course we can't forget how that Tom Coughlin """resignation""" went after Reese won that power struggle.

The one consistent person between that shitshow and the shitshow currently residing at MetLife is the guy Coughlin left handing for that handshake

All that being said, the one moment of the Dave Gettleman Era that will forever make me chuckle in the sliver of my football soul that can still experience joy is him using a Wii to watch game film. Was Gettlefinger truly an innovator all along?