Open Contract Talks With Team Biznasty For Chiclets Cup!
EBR has been in talks with Paul “Biznasty” Bissonette to play on his team in the Chiclets Cup Las Vegas basically since Detroit and to say it mildly the negotiations have been heated. Biz has made it clear he wants the hardware and will only look at the best players on team-friendly contracts to play for the Big Deal Selects.
Biz has made 2 announcements already with regards to his players for the tournament. Terry Ryan, who is a Canadian National Ball Hockey Champion and the Off the Bench Crew guys. I understand Terry being signed before me but c’mon Biz these Bench Crew guys didn't even play in the NHL and they got signed before me!!
The good news is we have made progress on talks with Team Big Deal while in Minnesota. I have had at least 20 contracts in my playing career and this is the most important one. Both camps do not want to go to arbitration over any topics after the tournament so ironing out these details is paramount. Biz is on TNT and the Great One's best friend so he has a lot of power but he knows a grizzly veteran is needed to win it all.
Player profile: Matt “EBR” Murley
Favorite Movie: The Cooler
Last Team Played For: Daemyung Killer Whales (Asia Hockey League)
Founder of $EBR and Chiclets gambling liaison
Teammate of Biz during his 18-year-old training camp when he was the final cut
Smart two-way player on the rink and the craps table.
Experienced locker room guy to get the team ready after a late night.
Back to back gambling best record at Barstool up units.
Terms that are settled: These are must-haves for any veteran player.
Roster spot guaranteed for all games in Vegas
No state tax in Nevada was huge
Never in starting lineup
Maximum of 5 Pink Whitneys during games from arrival to departure
No blocking shots
Stall next to Terry Ryan Sr. during the entirety of the tournament
No roommate on the road
Available for all media before/during/ after games.
A Few Sticking Points To Workout:
No bonuses tied to playing time. Smarter not harder is my tagline
Curfew midnight on game days
Will do anything to avoid contact in all areas of the rink
Possible healthy scratch vs. Danbury Trashers
Ryan Whitney is my position coach and oracle at any time during a game
No repercussions for any injury to the elbow or hand while playing craps will affect the player's pay and bonus.
Bonus Structure: These are above and beyond any contract and should be paid at the exact end of the tournament after the closing ceremony.
Win the Cup, case of Pink Whitney signed by Biz
Lead team in scoring, $25 chip to place on roulette/craps
On-time and present at all games get two free bottles of airport waters
I've made my case to Biz already and now laid it all out in this blog for all to see. I'm calling on the EBR Crew and Chiclets Nation to put the pressure on Biz to get this deal over the finish line and get me suited up for Team Big Deal in the Chiclets Cup Las Vegas 2022.