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Lighten the Fuck Up! The Daughter of Strict Irish Parents Returned Home Unexpectedly After a Five-Year Absence...

Giphy Images.

The 21-year-old daughter of strict Irish parents returned home unexpectedly after a five-year absence. As she sauntered in through the front door her father immediately started cursing her heavily… 

"Where the feck have ya been all this time, child? Why did ya not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ya call? D'ye not understand what ya put yer oul Mum through?"

The girl began sobbing uncontrollably and replied, "Daddy, I've become a prostitute…"

Angered by his daughter's choice he replied, "Ya become a what? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! You're a disgrace to this good Catholic family! Get outta here ya shameless sinner! Just feck off, will ya, girl."

"Okay daddy, as ya wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, a deed to a fine ten-room flat, and half a million euros…'

'For me little brother, I've this grand Rolex. And for you, daddy, the shiny new Mercedes-Benz convertible parked out front next to the kerb, plus a lifetime membership to that fancy golf club ya been forever wanting to join…"   

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Both confused and delighted, he asked his daughter, "Now, what exactly was it ya become, girl?"

The girl began sobbing uncontrollably again and replied, "A prostitute, daddy. I've become a prostitute…"

"Jaysus, ya scared me half to death, girl. I was in bits. I thought ya said ya become a Protestant… Now c'mere and give yer oul Daddy a big bleedin hug, will ya, girl!"                                                                                                                                                                                                           

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968