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Nostradamus, AKA "The Prophet Of Doom,” Has Some Predictions For 2022. And They're Not Much Better Than Baba Vanga's

NY Post - As the year comes to a close, the news is getting grimmer, folks — at least according to the prophecies of long-dead divining daddy Nostradamus. The French plague doctor, astrologer and seer published his famed and widely quoted book “Les Prophéties” in 1555. Chock full of poetic predictions, the book foretells the coming of wars, natural disasters, assassinations, nuclear attacks and revolutions.

Much like the high-on-fumes oracle at Delphi, Nostradamus’ predictions are intentionally vague and open to myriad interpretations. For 2021, he alluded to the onset of a zombie apocalypse, writing, “Few young people: half-dead to give a start.” Bleak, right? Not if you consider the possibility that Nos was warning us young folk that we are not really living, man, but simply existing. More Matthew McConaughey pep talk than certain quasi-death, dig? He also prophesied that 2021 would bring about a world-ending asteroid that so far (she types with abject trepidation) has yet to make an impact.

Chief blogged the legend Baba Venga's predictions for 2022 the other day - and they included a new, even worse pandemic, a virtual reality takeover, wars over water scarcity, an asteroid hitting Earth followed by the arrival of aliens, famine, earthquakes, and tsunamis. 

Though Nostradmus' pick sheet doesn't look as bleek. It ain't pretty. 

Let's go to the breakdown.

Massive Inflation Leading To Starvation

Nostradamus predicted that inflation and starvation will befall us in 2K22, writing, “So high the price of wheat/That man is stirred/His fellow man to eat in his despair.” An essential human truth is that people get hungry and then they get mean — and with US inflation the highest it’s been in nearly four decades, Nos’ warning proves, so far, so true. No word on whether the rising price of wheat inspired this guy or this guy to take a bite out of their fellow man.

Well talk about an early W for Nostradamus right out of the gates. 

It's not even 2022 yet and we're experiencing all-time inflation that experts say looks like there's no end in sight. Prices are up on everything, most importantly, necessities like food. 

If history is any indicator, when "the people" are starving, they get restless, and shit goes down. 

This one doesn't sound fun.

Artificial Intelligence Begins To Takeover 

Nostradamus wrote, “The Moon in the full of night over the high mountain /The new sage with a lone brain sees it /By his disciples invited to be immortal/Eyes to the south. Hands in bosoms, bodies in the fire.”

While easily confused with Björk lyrics, that passage appears to reference the escalation of artificial intelligence. Cue Elon Musk, Time magazine’s Person of the Year and an unequivocal alien in his own right, taking to robot-making and moving his headquarters south to Austin, Texas. Further evidence that man is destined to be overtaken by immortal machines can be found in the teachings of the aesthetic prophet Jared Leto.

It doesn't take Elon Musk to tell us that artificial intelligence technology has made leaps and bounds over the past couple years. For some odd reason in this country, and throughout parts of the world, you need a license to fish or hunt, but anybody can just fuck around and create self-thinking (and feeling) robots that can (and will) eventually replicate themselves and take over the world. These things are developing their own languages so that we can't understand them communicating with each other, we've got Stephen Hawking warning us as loud as his wheelchair speaker thing goes that A.I. will be the downfall of the human race, and yet we're still whistling past the graveyard watching nerds make these things smarter and smarter. 

We are fucked and the fact "The Prophet of Doom" predicted this a few hundred years ago confirms it. Skynet is coming.

A Nuclear Explosion Triggering Climate Change And Severe Drought

The heavy hits just keep on coming. Nos’ predictions are linked to astrological events more than calendar years and, for some time, devout doomsdayers have been awaiting a nuclear explosion that will trigger severe climate change. Based on this cheery passage, “For forty years the rainbow will not be seen/For 40 years it will be seen every day/The dry earth will grow more parched/And there will be great floods when it is seen,” we can posit that droughts and floods of biblically punishing proportions are coming. Judging by this summer’s historic drought and the painfully parched conditions in Chile, said punishment may already be upon us.

Add to this the recent revelation that China is allegedly armed, dangerous and at the ready to launch a nuclear strike that could presumably cause cataclysmic water shortages. Thus far, our leading defense against drought appears to rest in the hands and nether regions of moisture awareness advocates Cardi B. and Megan Thee Stallion.

This one doesn't sound fun whatsoever. 

There's a lot of world actors that now possess the ability to set one of these things off either by accident or on purpose now. And even more in pursuit of the ability. The death and fallout factor was always the first thought of what would happen, but I never considered it fucking up the climate and throwing us into a worldwide drought. 

Right in line with Baba Venga's prediction of "wars being fought over water" this one sounds like the consensus pick for 2022 which fucking sucks. 

The Boom of Cryptocurrencies 

In addition to forecasting inflation, Nos nods to the rise of cryptocurrency in the year ahead. As Yearly-Horoscope translated from the original French: “The copies of gold and silver inflated/Which after the theft were thrown into the lake/At the discovery that all is exhausted and dissipated by the debt/All scripts and bonds will be wiped out.”

While Nostradamus’ predictions tend to land more near the bank than on the money, gold is currently surging and a wave of Silicon Valley engineers and executives are leaving their high-level positions to join forces with crypto startups. Coincidence or prophecy confirmed? We wait with bitcoin and bated breath.

Finally a win. I think?

Decentralized currency has been all the rage for a couple of years now. If world governments (the G-8) adopt one, or at least officially recognize them, then this prediction could literally take off like a rocket ship. It seems inevitable but I'm an idiot. 

So there you have it. 

Pretty grim outlook for the coming year. But it seems like that's the case every year. And when you think about it, humans have been through some shit. Plagues, pestilence, wars, outbreaks, famine. You name it. But we keep overcoming it. Adapting and moving on. We're like a virus when you really think about it. And I'm a glass half full guy so the way I see it is we're at rock bottom right now in 2021 and things can only go up from here. So I'm looking forward to getting the fuck out of this year and onto the next.

Happy New Year!