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Capitol Rioter In Jail Has Asked Judge To Let Him Have Dating Apps And Honestly...They Should Let Him

WASHINGTON — A New York man asked a federal judge on Christmas to allow him to use dating apps while he awaits trial on multiple felony charges for his role in the January 6 Capitol riot.

The attorney for Thomas Sibick filed a motion on Saturday asking U.S. District Judge Amy B. Jackson to modify her release conditions for Sibick, who is currently on home incarceration at his parents’ residence in Buffalo, New York.

Of the people swept up in the Capitol Riots from January 6th, it would appear that this guy Thomas Sibick is one of the worst offenders. Beat up a cop. Can't have that. This guy is facing 20 years and if he is convicted he deserves every second of that. Having said that...c'mon. Let the man fire up some dating apps. This is a tale as old as time. Prisoners are allowed to get mail and letters and have pen pals. I mean Steven Avery is a convicted murderer and he turned into a The Bachelor from behind bars with just women throwing themselves at him because of his Netflix Doc and a few letters he penned. 

There are no more letters to pen. That is all done via apps now. This combines two of the greatest pastimes for single people in the year 2021. Swiping on apps which is basically just a form of "hot or not" and then talking to strangers on the internet. If you were in jail would you rather tunnel out of your cell a handful of cement at a time or would you rather mindlessly swipe through chicks with an inner monologue that say "ehh, yeah, I'd fuck her". In fact...I imagine that when you're in jail you swipe like this

Swiping right on anything with a pulse because…you're in fucking jail. Better off having this guy on dating apps than any other social app. He can't foment anything except love. He can't storm anything except for a woman's heart. The odds of him actually causing harm are even less than him actually starting a revolution. Let him swipe.