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We All Deserve a Family Who'll Stand by Us Like the NYPD Holiday Lapdance Cops' Families are Standing by Them

When the story of this lapdance given by an NYPD rookie to her lieutenant went viral, I said, not in so many words, that these two crazy coworkers should be left alone because the holiday season is a time of drunken workplace debauchery:

I stand by that. But with all due respect to the loners and socially inept incels in our target demo (whom we treasure as much as we do everyone else), the holidays are, above all else, a time for family. 'Tis the season for being together, appreciating one another, and basking in the glow of familial love. I mean, look at the Griswolds. For all their dysfunction, when push came to shove and Clark got shafted with a Jelly of the Month Club subscription instead of a bonus, Cousin Eddie boss-napped Frank Shirley and the grandparents were prepared to send his corpse back to Mrs. Shirley with his testicles in his mouth. 

That's how it should be in every family. And on that note, I'm happy to report that's how it is for both of these members of New York's Finest:

Source - The furious wife of the NYPD lieutenant caught on video getting a raunchy lap dance from an underling went berserk on a reporter Monday. …

A red-faced Lt. Nick McGarry had to physically hold back his fuming wife outside their home in New Windsor in Orange County when asked about The Post’s front-page story on the wild video of the rookie cop grinding in his lap.

“F–k you!” McGarry’s wife, Melissa McGarry, seethed while trying to charge at a Post reporter and photographer. …

As the couple drove away from their home in Orange County, the wife took her hands off the steering wheel, flipped off the reporter with both hands and screamed, “F–k you! F–k you! F–k you!” one last time. …

Meanwhile, McGarry — who was immediately bounced from the 44th Precinct to the Transit Bureau over the steamy video — seemed to have also landed in the crosshairs of the rookie’s father.

“She told me, ‘Daddy, I make some mistake,’ ” the dad told The Post on Monday. ” ‘I’m very embarrassed about what I did. I embarrassed you and my family.’ …

“She cried and cried,” the dad continued. “She is young. … He is married, the lieutenant. He should know better. I am going to sue them.”

First of all, shame on anyone, particularly the higher-ups at the NYPD for treating these fine professionals like criminals. On their own time, they go together with their brother and sister members of the force in a spirit of comradery and fellowship. They blew off steam. Had fun. There were no victims here. No rules broken. Just adults enjoying the pleasure of one another's company in the fine tradition of holiday parties since the time of Fezziwig throwing a rager at his flat in London while Scrooge was home alone worrying about his coal bill. The fact that they are being made to feel like they did anything unethical is more than just wrong. It goes against the very spirit of the office holiday party. 

Secondly, find yourself a spouse like Melissa McGarry and hold onto them for life. A lot of married people of either sex wouldn't be so protective of their significant other grinding genitalia with someone much younger and 153 times hotter than they are in front of everyone they work with. Most would feel insecure about it. Practically all would feel embarrassed about having to explain it to family, friends and neighbors. Very few would carpet F-bomb reporters and photographers in their loved one's defense. She is that rare exception. And is therefore very, very much a keeper. 

 Finally, I hope you all have a parent like the rookie's dad. Not that she has anything to apologize for. But he's nevertheless being supportive of his baby girl who made him proud in the past year by graduating from the Academy and getting on the force. And while his anger toward Lt. McGarry is understandable, it's not justified. Nor is it necessary. When your adult child has a boss she likes enough to share her world class lapdance talent with in this way, he must be a very special figure in her life. In a way, she's like the Little Drummer Boy, who didn't have fine gifts to bring, so he played his drum instead, par-rum-pa-pa-pum. I'm sure he'll come to realize his daughter was fortunate to have a supervisor she liked this much and learn to appreciate the lieutenant, not threaten lawsuits and such. 

Happy holidays to both of these families. Don't let the Scrooges drag you down.