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Power Rankings The 5 Different Legs Of The Barstool Chicago Monday Night Football Parlay

1st things 1st - it's not pretty right now in Chicago

COVID has essentially rendered this city athletically inoperable so just a heads up going into Monday Night Football. Everyone and their mother is saying Justin Jefferson is going to fucking STEAMROLL his over 95.5 receiving yards prop with the near-entire Bears secondary on the shelf. That's fine or whatever but I'm a Bears fan. Not a Vikings fan. I'm here to support my guys tirelessly to the tune of a +1300 5-team parlay.

You guys know I'm a huge parlay guy and you further know (but not really) that 4 of these are definitely going to hit. And by definitely I mean that with 0% guarantee - but deep down my instincts know this one's going to be close. I'm toeing a fine line here. Can't say it's a slam dunk but I want to represent my confidence interval fairly. I don't think I've ever lost every leg of a 5-teamer. The pain is never that plain and simple. 

Personally, I don't see 0-5 happening tonight. Maybe not the sharpest value with us only looking at this from the Bears' perspective but I still like where this is headed. Without further adieu here's how we see these ones shaping up tonight:

5. Bears +6.5: Absolutely disgusting and I love it. The Vikings are playing for the playoffs with their head coach out there for his career. Motivations cannot be higher for a 6-7 team with bold preseason expectations and one of the best RB/WR tandems in the game. Opposite that the Bears are basically running out Mt. Carmel's JV secondary. You have never had more reason to be disgusted with the depth chart going into a late December primetime game at home. That's why it's dead last on the list. 

Even so, hard to shit on Justin Fields when you sense his greatness developing each week. The defense should have their hands full but maybe the offense scratches together 24 points and we cover a game. Maybe just maybe. 

4. Kmet o30.5 receiving yards: This one should probably be last but I don't want to explicitly offend an up-and-coming friend of the program. That doesn't sit well with me so Kmet goes to #4 on the list. That's basically two chunk plays and maybe a tight end screen. Given that Nagy & Pace are on their last legs, I can see Kmet taking on a bigger role of the gameplan to justify their existence. That's a reach but not really. Good thing is he's playing tonight. 31 yards is on the table. 

3. Mooney o51.5 receiving yards: We're now in full blown confidence mode. Mooney will get a butt load of targets and it's become clear Allen Robinson isn't really absorbing that much emphasis from opponents. So even now that A-Rob is out, it shouldn't really impact Mooney because he's getting open on his own and there's been plenty of targets as a result. Nothing changes tonight. Probably a 60+ yarder on the table if we're being honest. 

2. Monty o60.5 rushing yards: I hate this because Matt Nagy is a bonafide asshole who doesn't prioritize the ground game. But I also love it because the defense is gutted and anyone with at least one brain cell knows that means you need TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK. That translates to a balanced ground game to minimize the Vikings' number of plays. Only thing is Monty needs to get this before halfway through the 3rd because you know - like clockwork - there will be 3 rushing attempts the last 20-25 minutes of game clock. Monty is awesome though and I think he gets it.  

1. Justin Fields o208.5 passing yards: Can we stop disrespecting Justin Fields? This is the National Football League forchrissakes and we're hardly on the right side of 200 yards in this projection. It makes me sick. He's stained by the national embarrassment of the Chicago Bears but truth is he's legit. Some might even say different. Mix in a big national stage and his unrelenting optimism and there's plenty of reason to find at least 209 yards out there tonight. Especially since the defense should be surrendering a couple touchdowns. My crystal ball says Justin Fields will be asked to make some drives tonight, and I furthermore think he delivers. 

+1300 for all five of these? 

See you guys out there.

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