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The New Miller High Life Gingerbread Dive Bar Is The Most Beautiful Thing I've Ever Seen

Large posted this last night and my heart almost burst with joyful emotion. Never in my life have I ever compulsively craved an immediate road trip to New Jersey so badly. If there's one man and one thing to elicit such a reaction, it's Large and this ready to assemble gingerbread dive bar from Miller.

If you even slightly know me then you are well aware of my love for Christmas. I'm a huge puss bag when it comes to the 25th. My tree goes up Friday after Thanksgiving. Lights adorn my balcony. I trade out the dish towels for festive alternatives amongst many other goofy shit. Even if the my key/wallet holder gets swapped out for an ornamental red/white ceramic. I'm everything big box commercial America wants out of an aging adult man. I'm in the Christmas spirit for the long haul ladies. 

That said I feel like it will never be whole for me until I make a domestic-beer endorsed gingerbread house. This Dive Bar has scratched a deep itch in my soul. I don't have a G spot but I imagine this is exactly how it feels to square it up. A near perfect intersection containing some of my most treasured past times. Even the bags set on the COVID-friendly outdoor space shaded with a damn pergola. It would appear no detail has gone overlooked. That's exactly how I like my MolsonCoors gingerbread houses. 

Includes maple syrup for that real dive bar sticky floor feeling

^^ No surprise when you prioritize authenticity.

There's one thing I'm a little soft on though. I don't know what to do with a gingerbread house after you make it. Do I just appreciate it as a center piece on my kitchen island? Do I nibble away each day until the frosting goes hard and the cookie softens? One time I got a tummy ache from eating half a jar of frosting while making a gingerbread house and since then I've had a Southern Comfort kind of relationship with the activity. I know there's a time I loved it, but the mere smell of SoCo lime could potentially send me to the urgent care clinic. Also good time to remind you guys to avoid emergency room charges to your health insurance plan. Especially all those self-funded employers. Good consumerism goes a long way to the group renewal but that's a different blog. 

For now I'm just looking for best practices on maintaining a gingerbread house in your own home. It's nothing I've ever truly understood because it plays so many roles. Personally I want to eat all of it right now but I'm a sweet tooth. Help me help myself.

And if we're doing a model Dive Bar for High Life then can I suggest a Chicago garage for a Miller Lite version? Now that I have a taste for gingerbread, I feel an insatiable appetite coming on and I want one that hits close to me. But I won't be picky. I love a bottled High Life too. I'm no snob.