It Is Time To Hand Out The Awards For Spider-Man: No Way Home
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Robbie and I were back in the basement this weekend to recap the biggest movie event of the year, which is obviously the case considering a damn near 2 hour runtime on a podcast filled with SPOILERS considering three universes worth of Spider-Men and his enemies all arrived in No Way Home.
As is the case with these big releases, we gave out awards like MVP, LVP, Comeback Player Of The Year, Top 3 Moments, and more. But since you were nice enough to click on this blog, I feel like we need some bonus awards since I would never steal a click from the Barstool public.
On to the awards!
Mailman Award: Wong
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Gotta shout out our dude Wong for once again mailing it in as he climbs another level on the org chart. Dude got a monster promotion to Sorcerer Supreme without lifting a finger thanks to someone else snapping their fingers and let his direct report handle all the heavy lifting of this movie as he went away for vacation. While Dr. Strange was turning the lives of multiple Peter Parkers upside down, Wong was probably blacked out at a karaoke bar. If that's not the perfect work/life balance, I don't know what is.
Sixth Man: Matt Murdock
You know a movie has a ton of fun moments when a character like Daredevil being plopped into the MCU is like the 10th thing people discussed on the walk back to their car. I am giving him an award usually reserved for the best bench player because he didn't play even a small role in the grand scheme of the movie but he also got everyone hyped right in the beginning of things by reminding us that this cinematic universe is growing every single week. If the fight scene on the bridge was the first match of a WrestleMania, Murdock's appearance was that panning to the crowd to catch an A-List celebrity watching in the front row.
I am praying to God that we get a cameo or even some sort of mention of Murdock in the Hawkeye finale. God DAMN we are living in a fun ass time for Marvel fans.
Lifetime Achievement Award: Aunt May
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I know I said it would be hilarious if we watched all the Uncle Ben's of the Spiderverse die in this movie. But I didn't realize they were instead going to remix Tom Holland's Aunt May into his Uncle Ben and then kill her after we fell in love with her the last five years or so. Gutting isn't even the word to describe how I felt, which I realize may not be the perfect word to use considering how she passed.
Also I loved this hypothetical.
Since out entire world is fucked up right now, I am choosing to believe that in the MCU, Mona Lisa Vito indeed started going by May at some point and became Spider-Man's aunt if only because Vincent Laguardia Gambini interacting with an awkward young Tom Holland makes me crack up.
GOAT: Tom Holland
Speaking of Tom Holland, has anyone in history been on a bigger heater? Guy got his dream girl, dream super hero role, and stars in his favorite video game. When I grow up, I want to be Tom Holland (Even though hearing that English accent will fuck up my brain every time since I always lump him in as an American).
Best Quote: Norman Osborn
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This movie had throwback fan service leaking out everywhere like Tobey Maguire's Peter Parker leaks web fluid. But this one got me good since I didn't see it coming at all and the theater erupted. Aunt May throwing out Uncle Ben's great responsibilities quote like Jay-Z remixing a Biggie line would've been the clear winner here if it wasn't the moment I realized Aunt May was 100% without a shadow of a doubt about to die.
Listeners Of The Year: The Basement Crew
I know that Pardon My Take likes to give their listeners this award but if anybody in that small army has a problem with this award, they can meet me and Robbie in the octagon. I am a part of a lot of nichey brands here at Barstool but there is no better crew of listeners than the people who listen to Robbie and I talk nerdy every week. They always have great questions, come up with hilarious theories, and ride or die for us when we need them to. We put out a challenge for people to subscribe to our YouTube this week and have gotten almost 500 new subs in that time (Pleeeeease subscribe by clicking here).
I also said anybody who screenshots that they are subscribed to the MMB YouTube can send proof to TheClemReport at gmail dot com and we'll do a giveaway of free stuff if we hit 10K by the New Year. That offer still stands but the clock is ticking until the big ball drops in Times Square. Robbie doesn't think we can do it but I do because I believe in the basement crew. So put some egg on his face by subscribing and if we hit 10K, Robbie will smash an egg in his face and I'll do the same since I can't let my guy get salmonella alone.
Anyway, I wanted to give everyone a virtual trophy for listening to us and all the kind words in the reviews/comments/social media. They truly mean more than you know.
That's all I got for new awards. In addition to the awards and recapping the movie on the pod, Robbie and I…
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- Power ranked where No Way Home stands against other Spider-Man and MCU movies
- Break down the mid credits and post credits scenes
- And of course give our review of how good the movie was using the easiest scale for people to understand.
So check out the YouTube above or listen/subscribe on your favorite podcast site.