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Chad Ochocinco Is Crediting McDonald's For His Healthy Career & I'm Happy To Announce I'm Now On The Ochocinco Diet

Who needs the TB12 method when you have the Ochocinco Mccy Don's method? You guys can enjoy your avocado, nuts, fish, and eggs while me and Ochocinco will be over here downing our 20 piece nuggets along with some fountain sodas and a quarter pounder with cheese. I mean no way around it this is the biggest no-brainer in dieting history. And in all seriousness I guess what Ochocinco is saying kinda makes remote sense, right? Right? Now I don't know all those big healthy words but I'm pretty sure he's saying you can eat whatever you want and then because football is such a crazy barbaric sport that your body is going to burn it off no matter what it is!

So basically moral of the story is I need to get signed by an NFL team. I don't need to play. I don't want to threaten for a position on the field or anything because 5'9 300 lb tight ends would never really get much playing time and I can't block for shit after I got cut freshman year of high school on first tryouts, yet I would LOVE to get on that life regiment that will let me eat McDonald's whenever I want. I mean if Trevon Diggs is doing it, if Micah Parsons is doing it, and if Chad Ochocinco did it for TWELVE SEASONS he must be up to something!

Not to mention it just hit me that the 2 guys in the league right now that he named are both Dallas Cowboys. Is Jerry down there just force feeding the guys Mccy Don's? If so I may need to change my allegiances to the Big D.