On his podcast, The Steam Room, Sir Charles finally let it known to the world that his daughter Christiana is named after the Christiana Mall in Delaware. Ernie Johnson couldn't believe it. He was beside himself. A mall? Why? How?
Well I'll tell you why, EJ. Because malls are the best. Or, I guess, they were the best. Because I don't remember going into any mall over the past 5-7 years which had more than like 6 or so stores still open. You'll have the Auntie Anne's, the bigger companies like Target and Macy's, maybe a few perfume kiosks, a cell phone store, and maybe one or two shoe stores still open. Other than that, malls are dead. Which is an absolute shame.
I love a nice mom n' pop shop just as much as the next guy. But nothing beat the feeling of walking into a mall with your pals on a hot summer's day and immediately getting blasted in the face with that sweet sweet mall AC. You walk in and you can smell the delectable mixtures of aromas coming from the Panda Express and the Auntie Anne's and the fountains filled with pennies. Something about the smell of a mall as a kid just meant you were in for a day of ruckus and debauchery. Going up the down escalators. Giggling uncontrollably at the penis shaped items at Spencer's Gifts. Acting like you were hot shit hanging out in PacSun. Cap it all off with a slice of pizza from Sbarros. Malls were the best.
So it's no wonder why Chuck would name his daughter after a mall. ESPECIALLY after the Christiana Mall. Because not only is it a great name, but it's in Delaware. And Delaware means no sales tax. You could ball out at the Christiana Mall. You could get two (2!!) hats from Lids if you wanted to. They also had a killer lineup of stores. It wasn't just your run in the mill mall. It had some top of the line shit. We're talking Williams Sonoma, North Face, Vans stores, you name it. Great mall. Great name. Great work by Chuck.
It just sucks, man. I go to sleep every night cursing that son of a bitch Jeff Bezos' name for killing the mall. He took everything from us.