Journalist Goes Viral For Getting Stranded At O'Hare Airport Which Sucks Because Midway Is So Much Better

That's Allison Robicelli, a professional troublemaker at Washington Post and The Takeout which sounds like a nice job assuming it pays well and has desirable benefits. I'm not an expert on the human capital market but I do know my local airports pretty well which is where this comes into play. 

You see Allison missed her flight the other day and apparently had the time of her life roaming O'Hare alone. Candidly some of it doesn't sound too fucking shabby. 

You can be a tough guy all you want but there's something captivating about exploring public places in near isolation. A Chicago Public Library doesn't sound very fun right now on a Monday afternoon. But let me roam free with a flashlight and some recreational substances at 1am and pretty sure that library fucking rocks. Goes for so many places around here. Obviously your classics like the museum and art place and aquarium. But what about creeping around the United Center and putting up some shots on the hardwood? It's impossible to imagine a world where I don't break into a 300-level concession stand and put a dent into the Connies personal pan pizza stash. Those little pizzas are delicious. 

The airport registers on that level but with the weird caveat that it basically never closes. I'm trying to think and idk how many other buildings just simply never close. Even the Rock n Roll McDonald's gives itself a breather to clean the bathrooms and sort through the riff raff. Really is such a unique feature when you think about airports. There's probably a really strong metaphor relating to life that I can't quite articulate. You guys get the point. 


With that in mind, it's creepy in a post-apocalyptic sense to see such densely trafficked areas completely empty 

Pretty creepy to think about but same time I love when nobody's around. Getting up super early sucks until you realize there's nobody out on the road. Nobody in line for the coffee. Nobody on the treadmill or in that parking space you like. The older you get, the more you actively gravitate to situations with less people for the sake of convenience. I'm not talking about avoiding social obligations. I'm talking about the pure X's and O's of going through life. You want the fence a little taller and the lot a little wider. That's the way things go and I actually wouldn't hate an opportunity to move through an airport under the assumption that 90% of the human population has been devastated by a pervasive disease that I'm naturally immune to. That sounds like a good airport experience which kinda explains why I forked over the $179 for CLEAR. I will now respond to the nickname Showtime exclusively. 


Two Bird Carl still plays

Anyways. Good reminder that you don't have this problem at Midway because you don't miss connecting flights. That's the benefit of proximity when talking airport terminals. And in the event you do get stuck, there's a good Reilly's Daughter right before Terminal B. 

Everybody loves a Reilly's Daughter. 

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