MNF WEATHER ALERT: It Is An Orgy Of Snow And Wind In Buffalo Right Now
Someone get that overpaid slouch Goodell to move the kickoff of this game to right fucking now because I don't want to get Prime Time Snow Game Blue Balls when I turn on ESPN in 2 hours without an ounce of precipitation. Wind games are awful 10000000% of the time, at least unless you bet the Under or like the type of weird ass football we should get tonight.
But the ugliness of whatever is about to be unfurled on our eyeballs won't register in my dumb brain as long as those little snowflakes are dancing on my TV to distract it. I may have to actually watch the game on the awful regular MNF broadcast instead of the Manningcast because Peyton Manning might puke by the end of the game watching all the incompletions thrown. Josh Allen may have a laser, rocket arm but this looks like next level shit. Not that #BillsMafia gives a damn.
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The Patriots QB1 however...
If you don't think Belichick banished Mac Jones to Siberia for a month immediately after rookie minicamp because of a tweet from 2015 just for him to get a feel for winter football before his rookie season, you haven't been paying close attention to the greatest football coach we have ever seen.
The only time I've ever been to Buffalo for a Bills game was against the Giants back in 2007. I've lived my entire life in New York, so I figured I would be fine. Fast forward five hours later and my flip phone, iPod (again, this is 2007), and jacket were all destroyed from wintry mix that I swear was coming from the ground. Yeah, the Buffalo winter destroyed an entire goddamn jacket. However, I'd say the trip was worth it since I got to see this run in person, which led to the Giants clinching the playoffs for a little run that ended with a pretty memorable W against these very Patriots a little more than a month later.
P.S. This is the first time I've been jealous of somewhere Portnoy has been in my life