Pick The Better Teen Football Movie: Varsity Blues Or Friday Night Lights?
We're drafting Teen Movies this week and no spoilers but obviously the two big teenage football movies are on the table and I don't think there's a 3rd. It's Friday Night Lights and it's Varsity Blues in the Championship Match no matter how many times you hold the tournament.
And yet despite this perceived balance, I come to you today with startling poll results. It's common practice for me to propose a two-choice question with the hope of delivery controversy. White bread vs. wheat bread. French toast & pancakes. Is gravy a side at Thanksgiving? DUCKS
We'll spend a lot of time this week breaking down teenage movies so I figured it would be a good starting point to throw out a 50/50 dart. Friay Night Lights would get the younger vote. Varsity Blues would grab the older vote. Maybe put the cutoff line around 33 years old with there being some crossover in both groups. And even so, I thought FNL would maintain a slight advantage. But over 70% in the first hour of the question? I hold myself out to be somewhat of a nostalgia expert and even I can't understand this blowout.
They're both fantastic movies. Let's start there. You should be eager to watch either as they both tap into the high school Texas football scene so masterfully. Great fucking movies.
But they do it in different ways. Varsity Blues puts a premium on tits which is directly in line with being a teenage movie. Friday Night Lights challenges your emotions in the face of constant adversity. One has Jon Voight banging a whistle off James Van Der Beek's helmet. The other has a drunk and disgruntled Tim McGraw ruining his son's future. Both have a fair amount of steroids and presumably failed college careers. Although to be fair Paul Walker should be a trump card on the basis of ranking them as Teen Movies. Paul Walker is an all time hearthrob. That shit matters when you're talking high school football movies.
Same time FNL has the speech.
That's a great speech that people have further enjoyed because it came from a raw place in Billy Bob's life. Apparently his buddy was jamming it in his old lady, and he just found out before the speech. So he ad-lib'd it out of pure emotion, or something of that nature.
Regardless of the inspiration, great fuckin speech.
And then there's the music. FNL music is such an unbelievable mix as they blend the low and soft creepy stuff into heavy metal for the big hit compilations. Here's a textbook example of how they set the stage with the bus ride right into the opening kick for state
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If that doesn't resonate then let's talk title track. Your Hand In Mine captures West Texas football so critically and beautifully with natural suspense. It's a legit vibe and I don't say shit like that.
Obviously that resonates deeper than Hot For Teacher on a lot of emotional scales. Personally I enjoyed the stripper scene because my junior high teacher was a rocket and profiled perfectly for the role. But that's a different, weirder blog. For now, my big point is that the music touches a lot of different categories.
Then there's side characters.
Varsity Blues has much better side characters. There's cooler hose parties and more sex to be had. Those are big checkboxes for teenage movies. But Friday Night Lights also had the bigger stage going to state. Also based on a true story which works a completely different dynamic.
Permian takes a slight edge on the uniforms although West Canaan is simply a better name. And I think the Varsity Blues dads are significantly funnier. Some of the best material in both movies is that group of hillbillies getting loaded in the parking lot behind the chained link fence. Mr. Moxon is a great character.
To me, Varsity Blues has better inputs. Better scenes. Better characters and just downright funnier moments. But FNL is ultimately the more gripping story that leaves a bigger impact. It's a better movie. Not by the margin everyone above assumes but it's still better. I can admit that.
But personally I'd rather watch Varsity Blues. I'm a sucker for Allie Larter
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