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Watch This If You're High (Or If You Have A Baby)

For a quick intro, Hey Bear Sensory is a YouTube video series for babies that mostly involves large, brightly colored animated fruits & veggies bopping around to music with a black background. This is great since babies love high contrast, and as a parent I feel less guilty when I plop our son down in front of it because the title has the word "sensory" in it. Plus for most of the videos the music doesn't suck. Can't say the same for CocoMelon which lasted 30 seconds in this home. Couldn't handle it. But Hey Bear! slaps. 

When I tell you that this series is the only reason I got to shower or eat something in the first few months I mean it with all my heart (Big time side eye at Pat! ha ha ha!). I will forever Stan these fruits (combined with the Baby Bjorn bouncer seat which, in my opinion, is worth all the money and then some. Easy to say since mine was a hand me down.).

I'm clearly not alone in my love for it since Hey Bear! has 695K subscribers, and their two most popular videos (Smoothie Mix! which is dancing fruits, and Funky Veggies EXTENDED! which is, you guessed it, dancing veggies) have a combined 81 MILLION views. But nothing, and I mean nothing goes harder than the Hey Bear Birthday Dance Party! I will vouch for this even if you don't have kids, and have recommended it to friends who've gone a little overboard with the edibles & needed to focus on something upbeat. Legit cannot recommend enough:

You're bopping around with it and it's enjoyable enough, when suddenly at 02:24 the bass drops & the beets come out in the cool Elton John-esque sunglasses... 

..and just when you think it can't go any harder the strawberries drop in and the switch up at 03:12 blows your dick/flaps clear off.

And then you're like, "No, no it couldn't possibly get better," but bam, right at 04:20 avocado boss makes a celebrity appearance & the roof blasts off the joint:

Giphy Images.

Me and the baby's faces are pretty much melting off at this point. It's insanity. The living room is going nuts. 

Whenever I hear it it's like I transport out of my spit-up covered robe & go back to my days ruling the club scene (Narrator voice: she only ever went to one real 'club' and was largely ignored by both sexes for the entirety of the evening so she smoked like a whole pack of cigarettes before finally leaving to find a dive bar alone). 

Anyways, in the end it goes the fuck off with a crunchy vibe leading the way for each fruit to dance a final goodbye across the screen, and my son lights up like the 4th of July when the dinosaur avocado & fuzzy headband blueberry come thru one last time.

The other great part is that we get hyper local ads sometimes halfway through these videos so there's a breakdancing apple and then suddenly a low quality selfie-video appears with a construction manager named Dale telling us how we can flip our North Jersey home for big bucks, and the baby seems to enjoy that as well. 

10/10 cannot recommend Hey Bear! enough if you need a good 15 minute breather to eat or make a bottle or reset the little lady or fella, or if you're just high as shit. They also have a Hey Relax for adults. This one is my personal favorite