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This 13 Lb Burger That's Going Viral & Anyone That Supports It Can Fuck Right Off

WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE PEOPLE?! 

We simply cannot be living in a society where these utterly ridiculous, over-the-top, simply-for-show burgers are going viral on the internet. We just can't be and that's coming from a guy who reviews burgers for a living. And before you judge that just know I've often been a critic of the novelty burger. Most of them are just flat-out stupid and this one is taking it to a whole different level. It breaks my heart that this 13 pound probably impossible to eat behemoth has 5 million views on twitter while good down-home burgers at your local tavern are going around being chef'd up with no shine whatsoever.

Not to mention the ingredients in this thing is just too much! If we're trying to equate this burger to going overboard in say the major motion picture game I would compare this burger to the 9th movie in the Friday the 13th Sage, Jason goes to Hell: The Final Friday. To start it off those angus patties are simply too large to even cook and that's coming from a guy that's a sucker for a rare patty. Then I can't sit here and lie to you that mix of tomatoes, jalapeños, and tater tots does look VERY intriguing until you add in the flamin' hot cheetos...Simply doing too much on that one. On top of that we're then going with 3 different sauces? 3! That's at the very least 1 too many. And the cherry on top is the slew of sunny side up eggs which effectively make a 4th sauce when pushed down pre-chow like they did in the video. Just repulsive burger etiquette.

0 Balls.