Last Night, I Released My 2022 Baseball Writers' Association Of America Hall Of Fame Ballot
As is tradition as a member of the BBWA, it is my civic duty to release my Hall of Fame ballot and selections. To give you perspective in how mentally taxing this selection process is, watch this video:
It's simply fact that I, a baseball writer, have to delve into the most personal chapters in life of every player on the ballot. If a player up for election doesn't abide by my exact ideologies politically, they do not get my vote. If a player was a no good stinkin' cheater and used steroids? They don't get my vote. If a player played for the unholy Yankees? They do NOT get a vote. Not now, not ever. They could be axe murderers that operate as Al Qaeda during the offseason, if they ever donned the pin stripes for as little as a spring training, they will never get a vote as long as I have a vote.
And don't even think about getting me started on the republicans on the ballot. Last year I voted for Curt Schilling; this year, as a way to virtue signal my new found liberal views, he won't get so much as a sniff from me. Take that you dirty republican pig! This is MY Cooperstown, not yours. MINE.
Back in 2020, one person up for election that I didn't vote for was that overrated slap hitter Derek Jeter. Sorry Yankees fan. No Yankees in Cooperstown; rules are rules. The truth is, I just don't think he had a career that was near good enough to where he's even close to being enshrined in baseball immortality. Even after asking the masses to respect my choices, Yankees fans want me dead to this day. To put it blunt, their actions are disgusting. Here are a few of the reactions those greasy, disgusting losers had when they found out I was the one person who didn't vote for their god last year:
There were dozens and dozens of these sort of replies. Go eat a cannoli and shave your backs you greasy assholes! Fuck your mothers
Then there's this asshole. Don't ever forget about this asshole:
I feel like Happy Gilmore's girlfriend at the beginning of the movie. "There's just one problem, Derek... You're not any good!" and it's as simple as that. He just wasn't very good and he shouldn't be in Cooperstown.
This year's collection of responses were great as well. Nothing can top this one:
Oh wait I lied. Stephen Golombecki topped himself just a few mins later:
*Chef's kiss*
Perfection.
As always, I ask that everyone respect my choices. I spent the better part of the last month painstakingly dissecting the personal sides of each player. If they didn't vote, virtue signal, or hit home runs at a level I deemed worthy, then their asses can be found in the Hall of Really good. They sure as shit won't be found in MY Cooperstown, a Cooperstown that is owned by baseball writers and baseball writers only.