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Walmart Pulled This Kids Talking Cactus Toy That Sings In Polish About Doing Cocaine

NY POST - Walmart has stopped selling a “toddler-friendly” musical toy after irate customers learned it was singing about cocaine use in Polish.

The “Dancing Cactus Toy,” which was selling for $25.85 on the budget retailer’s website, plays songs in English, Spanish and Polish that are designed for young children to learn, according to Canada’s CTV News.

One of the songs the dancing cactus plays is “Where Is The White Eel?” — a Polish rap song by Cypis released in 2015 that features lyrics about drug abuse and death.

“The only thing in my head / is five grams of cocaine, fly away alone / to the edge of oblivion,” is how the rap begins, according to lyrics obtained from a translation website.

“Chemparty, I wanna go skiing / To the dealer, not the Alps / Oh fuck, I think I’ll die,” is purportedly the opening of a later verse.

A Polish woman who resides in Ontario, Canada, was mortified after buying the product for her granddaughter, only to overhear the lyrics in her native language.

“It just so happens that I am Polish and when I started to listen to the songs and I heard the words,” said Ania Tanner, speaking to CTV News. “I was in shock. I thought ‘Is this some kind of joke?'”

Bah Humbug! 

Giphy Images.

Am I right?

Remember when we were kids and those incel, twisted fucks in the cartoon room at Disney used to sneak penises and sexual phrases in without us consciously knowing? 

Yah, there was a lot. Like a 9-minute youtube video documenting it all lot.

So yah, I feel like that turned boys into men. It's fucked up they were drawing giant cocks on VHS covers for little girls to see, but nothing young boys haven't seen in the school bathroom every single time they had to take a piss.

What is life for tech nerds behind the scenes grinding away if they can't slip stuff like explicit rap lyrics referencing coke in Polish?

If we want to start taking this away now, after the cartoon stuff, we can pretty much kiss having humans do these kinds of jobs good bye. Might as well bring in the robots now. Because if every toy with a voice recording is going to say totally prude shit like Tickle Me Elmo's "oh boy, that tickles".

Plus who even speaks Polish these days, besides half of Chicago's grandparents? 

All that happens now that these dancing and singing cactuses are yanked off the brick and mortar shelves is they'll hit the black market, the price skyrockets, and they become collector's items for stoners and weirdos like me that laugh their ass off to shit like this.

And the manufacturer better lawyer up -

Meanwhile, Cypis said the Chinese manufacturer who created the toy used his rap song without permission. He is now intending to pursue legal action.

You know what else is gonna be collectors items?

All the fire Barstool Chicago merch we have flying off the internet shelves today. 

If you haven't snagged yours yet, at 20% off, you're gonna be shit out of luck because everything is selling out.

Be a hater and talk shit all you want, but facts are facts.


But these are not. And they are gas.

p.s. - pretend this absolute embarrassment isn't still in the store