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The ABC's of Barstool Sports

Hey friends, I’m Trig. You may know me from PMT cover art, or the People’s College Football Viewing Guides, or KFC Radio and Mickstape's social artwork of yesteryear, or merch designs, or whatever. Or you might have a real life and have never heard of me. Regardless, because I’m friends with the EIC (I was in his wedding, NBD but def a BD) he’s using his authority to let me write a blog shilling a product I got the privilege to create.

I came aboard the Pirate Ship full-time in January of 2019. It’s been a dream job. I’ve got to become friends with people I used to read, watch, and listen to, I get to draw for a living, and I get to be a cog in the wheel of the Barstool Machine as it slowly takes over the world. Needless to say, it’s been a pretty awesome 3 years (minus the whole deathly global pandemic thing you might have heard about). 

In that time, I banked as much goodwill amongst the Barstool Power Players for precisely this moment. It’s time to empty the chamber.

In September, I pitched an ‘ABC’s of Barstool Sports’ as a “children’s book” that parents would appreciate. My thought process was simple: as a dad who reads to his two-year old daughter every night, 95% of the shit I read is awful. It’s either corny, overly simplistic, poorly illustrated, or some combination of the three.

Why couldn’t I make one that appeals to Barstool fans with inside jokes and references that only they will understand, while also connecting with the dumb brains of kids with bright colors, fun illustrations, and rhyming words? I mean, the people who started reading the site when I did — long before podcasts and pizza reviews existed — are now parenting age. It seemed like a natural fit.

Luckily, everyone liked the idea, so much so they wanted it ready for a Black Friday release. That quick of a turnaround would have been impossible if not for my co-worker, friend, and brother, Ryan Hatfield. More than gracious to help, the two of us formed a drawing Voltron and ripped through beautiful illustrations and witty rhymes, page after page. I did the characters, he made them pop with gorgeous, vivid backgrounds. It was basically the Kobe-Shaq alley-oop gif for like three weeks.

Giphy Images.

That brings us to today. We have a book we wrote and illustrated in the Barstool Sports store. Dan fucking Katz wrote a foreword for us. Speaking for Ryan, we are immensely proud of this thing.

But it doesn’t mean shit if it doesn’t sell.

Humbly, I ask your support. Be the cool parent, or fun aunt or uncle, or chill big brother or sister, and get this book for a kid you care about. You will find something in there that makes you laugh, and the kid will slowly get brainwashed by Barstool love the artwork and rhyming while learning their ABC’s. Win-win.

Don’t have a kid to buy it for? It’s actually doubles as a fire coffee table book suitable for any dorm room, frat house, or first apartment. It's visually pleasing and guaranteed to make you laugh. Really, there isn’t an excuse for not buying it.

Thanks for your time. Now do me a favor and click the link and buy a copy or ten.