I suppose we have the media to blame for all this. That this is them trying to sow the seeds of discord on a Patriots team that has been as united and harmonic as any in recent memory. But the people covering the team thrive on controversy. So they've started asking some of the most pointed questions you'll get at this time of year. About the most divisive topic of the season.
It began with Bill Belichick. On his weekly WEEI appearance he was asked which is his favorite. And maybe because everything is going so well, or just out of the spirit of the holiday, in a rare moment of weakness he waded into the subject instead of just deflecting.
“Oh boy. It would be hard for me to turn down any type of potatoes,” he said. “I’ll go with whatever; mashed potatoes, scalloped, baked or however they make it. Load ‘em up. Load ‘em up. Throw some butter on there. Starch me up!”
Fine. No problem there. I mean, sure, this could start an argument at my in-laws' table. But they are an outlier. Clearly all decent, God-fearing Americans can speak with one voice on the topic of potatoes at a Thanksgiving feast, in any form.
But he should've known it would not die there. Now Matthew Judon and Mac Jones are being asked the same question. And their answers are exactly the sort of toxic, polarizing opinions that can cause all sorts of dissension in a locker room and derail an entire season.
I for one, stand with Matthew Judon. He's clearly continuing his role as an influential leader on his new team. Guiding the younger players with the wisdom of his years. Mac & cheese is a fine dish. Great, in fact. One of the best comfort foods God every graced the Earth with. If you're feeding a fussy 3-year-old. Or have a bunch of first graders over on a play date. And yes, it positively belongs on an Easter table where on the plate the gooey orange melty goodness and ooze onto your ham. But as the best free agent signing of 2021 puts it, mac & cheese has no place on a Thanksgiving spread. And I'll add, not if everyone is over the age of four.
The Jones thing is a real problem for me. Really, this is the first misstep he's ever taken in public. The 23-year-old with the preternatural maturity who has never done or said a wrong thing in all his time in the spotlight really stepped in it this time. Pie is not only the ideal Thanksgiving dessert, it may be the best dessert period. In all its forms. Ideal at any occasion. As good in a diner at it is in a fine dining establishment. As at home on the 4th of July as it is on the last Thursday of November. In fact, I might go so far as to echo Adam Carolla's point that pie is always better than cake. And that if it were easier to write "Happy Birthday Jerry" on one and shove candles in it, we may have done away with cake altogether generations ago. But I'm not going that far.
I'm simply arguing that the quarterback who has to this point been filling the GOAT-shaped hole in my heart really disappointed me here for the first time. Luckily for him the quarterback who left that hole is probably eating a Thanksgiving dessert of Kale smoothies. So I'll be the bigger man and not make too much of an issue over this. Still, for shame, Mac Jones. For shame.