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The Big Takeaway From Billy Eppler's Introductory Press Conference Is That He Has The Green Light To Spend A Shitload Of Steve Cohen's Money

Let's go to Billy Eppler to see how he feels about this quote.

Same, Billy boy! I don't give a damn about how much Billy Eppler loves New York City or how much fun he had going to a game at Shea Stadium back in 2005. I just needed to know that he will be allowed to spend as much of Uncle Stevie's money as he deems necessary to fix this flawed team and make sure we aren't watching another NL East team win a World Series for as long as he has something to say about it. 

No more throwing around nickels like manhole covers the way the Wilpons did or signing a couple of players to big deals but then edging your roster before hitting the luxury tax like Eppler's old boss Arte Moreno did in Anaheim. It's all gas no brakes in Flushing even if Uncle Stevie's art collection budget has to take a slight hit because the Mets are forced to blow past the luxury tax since they have roughly half a rotation and a third of an offense to fill out. 

Now we just need those supernerds in the ever-growing analytics department to plug in their numbers, Eppler to pick which signings/trades should be done based on what the data spits out, and Uncle Stevie to pay the millions of dollars necessary to make it all happen. Nothing can possibly go wrong!

MotherFUCKER. Did Bob just jinx the Mets making the playoffs, the holidays from actually happening, or is Uncle Stevies fortune going to drop to 0 like he just hit Bankrupt in Wheel Of Fortune? I swear this team can't catch a break.

P.S. I know Cohen and Alderson said they vetted the hell out of this hire, but they CANNOT afford to have Billy Eppler be a creep or a bozo in any way possible. Hitting or missing when acquiring players is one thing, but someone needs to step up and kill this LOLMets bullshit once and for all.

For more Eppler talk, we discussed his past with the Angels along with the holes he'll have to fill with the Mets on this week's We Gotta Believe with SNY's Joe DeMayo following our conversation about Noah Syndergaard leaving.