On the Night the Falcons Play the Patriots, There Is a Once-in-a-Millennium 28-3 Joke Literally Written in the Stars

The Falcons are taking on the Patriots tonight on Thursday Night Football in Atlanta. In case you were unaware, these teams played in the Super Bowl a few years ago and the Falcons lost after leading 28-3 in the second half. If you hurry to Twitter right now, you may still be one of the first people to make a joke about it.

Apparently, though, even God wanted to get in on the jokes tonight. The guy in the tweet above claims to be a meteorologist, so I'm taking his word for it, but apparently there will be a lunar eclipse tonight lasting 3 minutes and 28 seconds, the longest such event for the next 648 years.

I'm sure that's true, but we need to face a simple fact: if you still think 28-3 jokes are funny, you have a tiny brain.

They were funny when they actually hurt Falcons fans, which was for maybe two years. Now you just kinda make yourself look like a dumbass trotting out the most overused joke in the book. Also, you're now making those jokes to a city of fans who just won a title with a team it cares about infinitely more than the Falcons.

I still root for the Falcons to win the football games they play in. But if there's anyone out there who thinks we care even a little bit about your 28-3 "jokes", I can assure you we do not. We're World Champions. Buy the merch.