So 2020 goes all in with a worldwide killer virus, murder hornets, wildfires, floods and famines. It's only natural that 2021 would see that pot and raise them with a plague of crabs.
Fucking crabs. Fucking crabs that eat other crabs.
Source - This is the jaw-dropping moment a “biblical plague” of 50 million crabs head to the ocean to breed.
The swarm of cannibalistic critters shut down roads from the jungle to the coast on Christmas Island off Western Australia.
Unbelievable footage shows the bright-red creatures descending on townships in what is considered one of the greatest animal migrations on the planet. …
The crabs generally eat leaves, fruits, flowers and seeds but have a dark side that sees them eat their young.
The crabs’ cannibal side comes out when babies returning from their first ocean migration are feasted on by adults as part of their diet.
Their journey takes them through residential areas and tourist hotspots through the winter months.
The animals also turned up at the door of an office block, the organization reported.
Seriously, what fresh hell is this? If there was any doubt left that we have angered our Creator and He is seeking to wipe us out and start over again, this should put an end to it. But I'd rather just He just make the flood waters rise again and be done with us, rather than going out this way. I like my chances of surviving to whatever post-diluvial paradise awaits than try to last a day with the ground teeming with tens of millions of these pinchy little water spiders. I can deal with these orange, crusty, eight-legged rocks when they're in salad, stuffing, or cake form. But unless I'm opening a can of their meat, the only time I want to see these claw demons is when they're conducting a mermaid band or yelling at a sea sponge.
Next to actual spiders, crabs are the Earth's grossest creatures. And the only reason they're not No. 1 is the fact that evolution saw fit to stick them at the bottom of the ocean were we don't have to deal with them. The very thought of 50 million of them taking up the roads and sidewalks in places where humans call home is pure nightmare fuel. Instead of accommodating the nasty little mudbugs, they should pen them all up and let their own nature take care of them. Play "Cannibal Crab Survivor," but with no immunity. You've got an appetite for crabs do ya? Congratulations. Here are 49,999,999 million of them for you. Dinner is served. Only instead of the winner getting a million dollars, it gets the biggest shell hammer we can build to smash it into pulp.
This is just another one of those times where I appreciate living in a cold weather place where really nothing that walks, flies or slithers can kill you. And every time I get envious because I think Australia looks like fun place to live, I have to remind myself they've got every manner of poisonous, biting, stinging and devouring critter on the planet living among them. And now, a Biblical plague of cannibal crabs. Which sounds like a B-movie from a 1950s Drive In, but is their reality in a place that is basically uninhabitable for humans. Hard pass to ever setting foot in Australia.