Look, I know it's a popular internet joke to keep me as far away as victory in Monday Snake Drafts as possible. That's your guys thing, and I get it. You all recognize me as the Mike Trout and MJ love child of drafting obscure things and have chosen to bust my balls by keeping me out of the winner's circle and sometimes even off the poll altogether. I can handle it; I love bustin' balls with the fellas as much as the next guy. Sure, it'd bug me if I truly thought in my heart of hearts that everybody thought my drafting skills stunk, but we all know that's not the case. Deep down, you guys recognize me as a deity in the drafting world and that's all I need to sleep well at night.
But, as your god, I'm asking one simple favor: lay down your internet shtick and vote for me this week. My draft was that good and it needs to be recognized as such. I'm not gonna tell you which draft was mine or what number I'm am on the graphic, but it would be a gross miscarriage of justice if I'm not named winner. My draft was UNBELIEVABLE. I drafted smell after smell that could be argued for the number one pick. It was, in fact, the most dominant draft in snake draft history. I am confident when I say that. You're not just doing it for me, either; you're doing it for all of the A+ smells I snake drafted.
The draft is live. Listen in totality and then vote with your brain. If I get anything less than 100% of the vote this week, I will find those who didn't vote for me. I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my smells. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you!
SNAKE DRAFT IS LIVE!!!