I Don't Know Jersey Jerry Too Well, But Fuck Him
We were driving home yesterday from Pittsburgh and needless to say I was on the 1s and 2s. Yes, I demanded the aux cord because I wasn't about to spend 8 hours in a car with Chief, Ed and producer Tom without listening to good music. That doesn't mean I was about to force feed them music I knew they wouldn't like, so I went with a few studs:
- JJ Grey and Mofro
- Albert King
- Weezer's OK Human album (it's a masterpiece and as good or better than "Blue" IMO)
- Tyler Childers
- City of Sound
Blah blah blah you get the point. But in the midst of our jam session, my phone buzzed with a notification. I got this tweet sent to me from Jersey Jerry:
What the fuck man? I don't even know you. This punch was so square, so flush, and so perfect that I was out on my feet before smashing my face into the canvas.
And because of that, I hope Nadudadoo knocks his ass out at Rough n Rowdy.
People oft ask what the worst part of working for Barstool is. Besides having to sit next to an evil dictator that would make Pol Pot say "man, this guy is fucked up", I always say it's how fat you get once you get the job. This picture was a HUGE reminder of that. I mean I know I've put on some LBs but goddamn. My face is at an all time puffy level. I'm embarrassed.
It's unacceptable to me, as I'm the person that holds the record for best time in the Chicago Marathon's history at 5 hours, 26 mins and 36 seconds, throws 91MPH, kicks 40 yard field goals in jeans and AF1s and am in the Buns of Anarchy Peloton biker gang . I am an ATHLETE and there are no excuses for said puffy face. Now I'm just the prototypical internet blogger, and it took that FUCK HEAD Jersey Jerry to realize it.
Just kidding, in my limited experience with Jerry it's clear he's an awesome cat. But yeah I need to drop some weight so if anyone has any tricks where I can eat like shit and only work out 3-4x a week for 45 mins max, I'm all ears. Please teach me your ways. Oh, and because I'm a spiteful bastard, I now LOATHE Pittsburgh and want to see them lose every single game. I used to not care about them either way but fuck them and fuck Jerry and his gotcha picture/tweet. Hope they lose every game for the rest of time.
Until then, feel free to download, rate, subscribe and review to Red Line Radio where we talk about how Monday's referees stole the game from the Bears while Justin Fields almost willed them to victory.