A Real-Life Coffin Flop Episode Happened Near Boston Causing A Dead Body To Fly Out of a Coffin Mid-Funeral And The Funeral Home Is Claiming That They Didn’t Rig Shit

LAWRENCE — A local family is suing the Perez Funeral Home, Bellevue Cemetery and the city of Lawrence after their loved one’s casket was dropped into a grave, broke open and the corpse fell out, according to court papers.

Family members of the late Andrew Serrano, a resident of Puerto Rico and Lawrence who died on March 29, 2019, filed the suit Wednesday in Essex Superior Court alleging numerous counts of negligence and negligent and reckless infliction of emotional distress.

The lawsuit was filed by Methuen attorney Danilo Gomez. The family is seeking at least $50,001 in damages, according to court papers.

“When the casket broke apart, Mr. Serrano’s corpse fell out of the casket into the grave and began oozing fluid” in full view of the “horrified family members who became visibly distraught and hysterical,” the suit reads.

Several family members “leapt into the grave” to care for the body, which was ultimately removed and brought back to the funeral home. A few days later Serrano was finally laid to rest, according to the suit  

Sweet Lord of Hosts. Look, I understand why I’m getting tagged in this story. I do. I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson is one of my favorite shows of the last decade. No one was more pissed than me when Spectrum canceled Coffin Flop on Corncob TV. That being said, this is a real story about a real family that had a real loved one drop from a coffin and start oozing while their spread blue buttcheeks were flying around. It’s so sad!

Why would the paper say oozing? I’m not sure. Seems fucked up to me. Also, why include the details of family members jumping on the oozing body? I’m not sure about that either. If it was me, I’d just leave that up to the ole imagination. As the old sayin goes, the devil is in the details. If that’s true, this article is literally hell because the devil has his boney little fire fingers all up in this shit and it stinks to high hell. Don’t say ooze! FUCK. It’s gross and mean!

In conclusion, I’ve seen this story but I won’t be blogging about it. It’s past time that the internet returns to a place that has even a modicum of decorum. The internet isn’t a place where you can just say anything you want like “horse cock” or show ghosts flying through the walls with literal cups of cum oozing from their dead mouths. There’s that word again. Ooze. Smh. It used to be that way when we were all pieces of shit. You could say whatever when we were pieces of shit. We’re not pieces of shit anymore. We’ve changed. Well, at least some of us have.