Alright I'm gonna start this off by saying hand up...I clearly fucked up that tweet. That's on me. It should very blatantly say flight attendant as opposed to flight attended but that's what happens after you have a couple cold ones over the course of a weekend in Gainesville and send a half-awake text right after you land back in New York. Yet I was so tired that hearing the Happy Thanksgiving over the intercom was what sprung me back to life.
We're wishing a Happy Thanksgiving...on....November 7th? I truly assumed Happy Thanksgivings were MAYBE reserved for the week of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving Monday? Fair. Thanksgiving Tuesday? We're getting warmer. Thanksgiving Eve as you're walking into your local townie bar to see all your high school buds? OF COURSE. But November 7th was just an otherworldly amount of shock. There's no Christmas level-esque holiday spirit that goes into Thanksgiving. I mean sure I'm happy the pilgrims found Plymouth Rock and shit but miss me with celebrating weeks before. Turkey & cranberry sauce simply can't get me going enough that early. I'd rather a Merry Christmas at this hour!