Luis Robert Bought A New Lamborghini Aventador

I wish I had a fuck ton of money to drop on anything I want. I'm currently looking at buying a house for the first time, and anytime I'm perusing Zillow or Redfin to do some lookin', and when I don't like any of the houses that pop up I'll expand the search parameters up $10K... then $25K... then $50K to make new availabilities pop up. Eventually I'll stumble upon a house that I LOVE. We're talking private roof decks, back yards, patios, and more rooms than I could fill since I live alone with a dog and don't have that much shit. That's when I do some math with the mortgage calculator and realize I'm way too poor to afford most places I have said "yep, I'll move in tomorrow" about. 

So if anyone has a get rich quick scheme, shoot me a DM on Twitter. I'd love to sign up. Chances are I'd end up dead or in rehab within a week and would no longer be able to provide you assholes with constant laughs anymore, but that's a chance I'd be willing to take. 

But Luis Robert, the Chicago White Sox golden child, has that kinda money. He's already earned $30MM as a 24 year old and can earn as much as about $120MM by the time he's 30. He's due $6MM in 2022, and if he stays healthy, that's looking like it'll be a massive bargain even if they could have gone through the standard arb process and only paid him like $900K next year. 

Dude missed a lot of last year, but when he played he *casually* put up these numbers in the regular season...

…and these numbers against Houston in the playoff series: 

Dude has superstar written all over him. He was more or less the only offensive player to show up for the White Sox series against Houston and as they say, look good, drive good, play good. Lu is driving in STYLE now. Sure, the anime skin that he chose is a little weird and out there, but I don't give a fuck. So long as he 1. stays healthy and 2. does whatever he did in his half season of plate appearances over the course of full seasons moving forward, he can drive whatever fucking car he wants.

Just don't get caught doing 140 down the Dan Ryan on the way to a game and do not even THINK about getting in this car after even a sip of alcohol. You're rich. Call an Uber black car. 

I've started constructing my off season outlook blog and will take as much time as I need on it to get it right. Will be out Friday at the earliest, Monday at the latest. It's gonna be a doozy, but the White Sox are close. Let's just hope this CBA gets hammered out and the hot stove heats up sooner than later so we can talk about how the White Sox are gonna sign Marcus Semien to play 2B before settling on a Cesar Hernandez bounce back gamble.