*Updated* *Lots Of Monkey Business* University of Texas Special Teams Coach Jeff Bank’s Pet Monkey Possibly Violently Attacked A Young Trick or Treater

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I saw this story and immediately knew this was true. That's what happens when you don't train monkeys. Because look what happens, a monkey goes rogue and now a young boy is hurt. I hope he's ok. 

There's more to this story though. Apparently, the monkey is owned by his stripper girlfriend named the Pole Assassin and the monkey is part of her stripper act.

Now they're going to have to send the monkey to join Harambe. Texas, not back.

Updates

Apparently, Pole Assasin was on Jerry Springer 

The Monkey's name is Gia and has a full Instagram. The last post was about how the monkey may have attacked someone. Gia is a capuchin monkey. 

This may not be the only monkey she owns, if you look at this video there might be several monkeys in the cage.

The craziest part about this video is I do not know how much strippers make, but if that's how your dollar stretches in Texas I am amazed. A pool, 3 monkeys, big backyard, seems awesome. Anyway, I know dog bite law, but unfortunately, I do not know much about Texas monkey bite law. I will be looking into the situation. If there was a sign that said "beware of Monkey" she may be liable for the monkey business due to acknowledging she has a dangerous monkey. If the kid really did sneak in the back opening several gates to get to the monkey cages she may be fine. But the monkey could have been dressed up and part of the haunted house. Look there's a lot of monkey business involved in this.

Hopefully, the monkey does not have to be put down, also hope the monkey did not have any diseases that the kid could have contracted. The child may turn into a weremonkey, which would be in Halloween spirit.