I'll Be Real Honest With You Guys - I Absolutely Love That The Atlanta Braves Are Seeing Red Tonight

Carl10/29/2021 5:40 PM

It's probably my professional obligation to tell the Braves to Cease & Desist their Red Out tonight. But truth be told I want everyone Seeing Red. Even you Bing Bong boners with your Kemba Walker avatars. The Chicago Bulls are a global basketball brand and they're for everyone. I'm not gatekeeping the Braves for getting a piece of the action.

The part I can't wrap my head around is the scoring tonight. I thought the Braves would be hot in Game 1 and they were. I thought the Astros would claw and scratch Game 2 and they did. My super computers and simulations were dialed in to every variable. As I've said time and again, Trust the Calculus. When the numbers are hot you have to play them.

But now that it's a Red Out, I have no idea what this means for team defense. Ian Anderson is an immensely talented starting pitcher that's been bred for this moment. The Braves took him 3rd overall in 2016 (which was a laughably shitty first round) for this exact moment. The crowd is going to be one of the wildest we've seen from an NL pennant winner since the Cubs. All that juice and electricity and excitement works in the Braves favor.

Same time the Astros are no strangers to this shit. I'm sure they're marginally impacted by all these soft factors. If they had literally ANY starting pitching then I think they'd be the heavy favorites. The lineup is just so stacked.

My simulations have been expanded to account for all these variables. It might end up breaking the laboratory but I need to get the numbers right. First couple passes have been begging for me to take the under 8.5. All signs point to a 2-1, 3-2 kind of game with all runs scored on solo shots.