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Using An Alligator As A Weapon In A Fight Is A Flat Out Brilliant Move

To all the nature nerds, yes I know this is technically a caiman and not an alligator. But if you think Click Burglar Clem is throwing the word caiman up in the headline of a Barstool blog and hoping common men will click it as much as they will click one with the word alligator, you got another thing coming. Plus caimans are an alligatorid according to Wikipedia, so get off my back and go back to reading about photosynthesis. 

Anyway, this has to be one of the greatest fight moves I've ever seen. Blue shirt was already fighting a losing battle to the point he was getting tossed around in the sand by a goddamn kid. So he did what any rational person would do, which is evening the odds by picking up a weapon, which just so happened to be a living creature.

The best part about this move? I don't think a court of law can even convict him for doing it. You pick up a bat, a knife, or a gun in a fight and attack someone, you can be hit with assault with a deadly weapon. But picking up an ill-tempered animal with razor blade teeth is just picking up nature. If the prosecution wants to call Mother Nature to the stand, they can ask her why she made these cold blooded killers so badass. However the dude that picked up a mini dinosaur and used it as a living chainsaw shouldn't be given anything from a judge except an Atta Boy and a pat on the back for thinking so fast on his feet ass.