Former President Mitt Romney Dresses Up As Coach Eric Lasso For Halloween
To be fair, I love the attempt at being topical for ole Mitt. Our binder-loving pal has been going through it lately. He's been getting name called all over the place and has been shit on by nearly everyone in the last few years. Not like OBJ though. Figuratively.
I'll never understand why people think Mittens is a creature that just scurries about the grasslands looking to not get his horn cut off by poachers who kill animals when they aren't preparing eggs for eggs benedict but ultimately, politics isn't my job so I won't look into the alligations.
With all that said, it's a beautiful attempt by Mittens to get everyone back on his side. Whether it's the young crowd that loves cheering, "Roy Kent. Roy Kent. He's here. He's there. He's every fucking where. Roy Kent. Roy Kent" or the slightly older but still not old crowd that enjoys Friday Night Lights and the Texas High School Football scene that inspired the show. Now, I need to be honest here because honesty is paramount on the blog, I've never seen Friday Night Lights and I never will. That's a promise to the reader. Allow me to explain why.
In this job, we often talk about TV. If I miss the boat on a TV show while it is in its prime, I'll never go back and watch because I can't talk about it. without you pieces of shit spoiling it for me. So, I'll never watch the Wire, Sopranos, It's Always Sunny, Sex In The City, or Succession unless Succession is about Sleepy Joe resigning. If it's a Barstool favorite and I don't watch it at the height of its popularity, I cant watch. It's a personality flaw and one that I won't ever try to improve.
Anyway, credit to Mitt for having a sick costume and looking dashing in his mustache. My only advice would be that he should have combined Ted Lasso and Coach Hayden Fox who also goes by the name Coach just like Coach Beard and Coach Lasso do. Incredible coincidence if you ask me. If you've never seen Coach, it was the Lasso before Lasso. In short, my guy Hayden Fox is a football coach. In fact, he's the head coach of our beloved Minnesota State University's Screaming Eagles for much of the series' run. Go Screamin Eagles, baby. He has to coach a team that has seen better days much like our beloved Ted Lasso faces in season 1 and 2. What makes this different though is that instead of being surrounded by the likes of Coach Beard, Coach Kent, and that little worm Nate, Coach Fox has a couple of none-too-bright assistant coaches, a partner who isn't half as obsessed with football as he is -although the romance and relational problems make the show relatable to people who aren't having sex with their spouses all that often (probably Mitt), and all the rest of the situations that come along in Big Ten athletics which I know will be a problem for you die-hard CFB fans. Minnesota State isn't in the Big Ten. Duh. It's fiction. Grow up. Not everything has to be totally accurate. For the show's final two seasons, Fox coaches an expansion team in the NFL which introduces a whole set of new problems not unlike when Biden took over as President (at least in terms of title. We all know Trump is still President. Thanks, Q.) Overall, Coach was a great show. Those are just the facts.
In summary, good costume, Mitt. Wanna bring it to the White House when Ahmed comes with his clock?
