There Was A Turkey Sitting On My Car And I Did What Any Normal Person Would Do And Threw A Shoe At It

I had some calls that were running into the evening today so I came home early to take them from my house. I had just wrapped a meeting when my wife yelled, "There is a turkey on our car!" from the next floor. I raced to the window and low and behold, there was a freaking turkey on our car!

I sat perched up one flight hurling insults at it. Mainly about it's gross neck and Thanksgiving related things. None of it worked. This turkey was like the anti-Brandon Walker and could just take insults in stride without blocking them on a social media platform. 

Suggestions on what to do poured in, including Barstool Outdoors own Sydnie Wells volunteering to come over and handle the issue:

With the Turkey still terrorizing us from our own driveway, my wife and I went to our stoop and did the next logical thing, look for something to throw at the Turkey. Now we didn't want to hurt it or potentially damage our car. So rocks were out. We didn't have anything lying around outside of some fun size hershey bars. They'd have to do. After a few errant throws, we were out of chocolate and the Turkey was holding its head high, trotting all over our Honda C-RV. That's when my wife had the brilliant idea to throw a shoe at it. 

Here's what ensued:

While the Turkey won the initial battle, we scared it off and its days are numbered. See ya in a few weeks you miserable bird.