Things You Missed | Entertainment, Business, Sports and More - All In a Quick & Free Daily NewsletterJOIN NOW

An OnlyFans Model Put DK Metcalf "On Blast" For Allegedly Wanting To Have A Foursome With Her

What the fuck is this? I thought 2021 was the Year Of Love, which means sex with as many people as possible should be embraced, not shamed! Not only that, but we are STILL giving guys shit for finishing quickly?!? DK may have become a household name for being fast, but now he is being associated with the wrong kind of fast considering he couldn't even beat a podcaster/placekicker in a race.

As someone that has plenty of experience in one of those sexual areas and absolutely none in the other (I'll let you decide which is which, even though 5 minutes is roughly 500x my personal record), I am truly saddened about DK being put on blast or whatever the kids say these days. If he is looking to improve his stamina off the field, I suggest he should go to getroman.com/PODFATHERS where he can get his first month of Roman Swipes for just $5 when he chooses a monthly plan. Roman Swipes are a clinically proven way to last longer in bed, no matter how many partners as you may have. They’re effective, easy-to-use and fast-acting, but don’t require a prescription! Roman can ship Swipes to you in discreet, unmarked packaging in case you have a commissioner that loves snooping in other peoples' business and each Swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it. They’re super easy to use - just take the Swipes out of the packet, swipe it on, let it dry and you’re good to go - that’s it! 

Sorry for the mid-blog ad read, but I think our ad ops guy is trying to steal my job, so I have to prove I'm a 5 tool employee so I don't end up unemployed with a wife, two kids, and a mortgage.

Where was I again? Oh yeah, congrats on the alleged sex DK! Hopefully you are reading this blog underneath a pile of satisfied humanity. I would include this fine young lady's Instagram here to update everyone how's she is doing since I know how concerned our readers can get, however it appears the IG account that other outlets have been running with is most certainly NOT her.

Barstool Sports: The Home Of Journalistic Integrity