Joe Thornton Is Out Here Making Sure He'll Never Have To Play Against Any More Of His Opponent's Kids Again

Joe Thornton's NHL career began 25 seasons ago. Father time may be catching up to him a bit but there's still no doubt in my mind that this legend is going to keep playing until he gets his paws on Lord Stanley's Cup. The Panthers look like they could be legitimate contenders this year so potentially this could be his last season. He could also go on for 5-10 more, who knows. 

But considering practically half the league is 25-years-old or younger, he's stuck playing against a bunch of kids who weren't even a twinkle in their daddy's eye by the time that Jumbo made his NHL debut. And to make matters worse, some of their daddy's were guys who Joe Thornton played against. 

Think about playing against Keith Tkachuk for 10 years only to have to deal with both of his little snot nosed kids in the league another 10-12 years later. Think about playing with Michael Nylander for a few games in 03-04 only to then be teammates with one of his sons 17 years later. He had to endure years of going up against Tie Domi in those Boston vs Toronto rivalries only to now have to face Max Domi all these years later. And if he weren't currently out of the lineup with a hand injury, Joe Thornton would have been playing against Cal Foote last night in Tampa after years of going up against his father Adam Foote in Colorado. 

Moral of the story is that Joe Thornton is probably sick and tired of dealing with all these kids. Sick and tired of seeing all these last names for the 2nd go around. And he wants to make sure that he doesn't have to deal with it anymore. Quickest and most effective way to get that done?

Bang. Now he'll never have to worry about playing against another Katchouk again. 

Just some free vasectomies all over the place this season from Dr. Jumbo. The only way your nuts are going to be safe this year against Florida is if you go up to Joe Thornton during the pregame warmups and pledge to remain abstinent until after his career wraps up. Anything other than that and he can't risk having to play against a 3rd generation of families he's already played against in his career. 

Sidenote: Not a great sign for the Big Rig to get chased down on a breakaway by 75-year-old Joe Thornton. 

Total beer league status right there. One of us! One of us!