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I Don't Care If This Makes Me A Pussy - I Love Slowing It Down On A Wedding Dance Floor

There's been a lot of talk about wedding songs around the company last few days for a couple reasons. (1) We got guys that don't like a live band. (2) We got Shout playing as the bride is walking down the aisle. (3) Nobody respects a budget wedding with a good DJ. Not the most well rounded debates but that's subject to happen on a Snake Draft. Emotions go one way. Logic the other. And chaos reigns supreme. 

Along the way though, At Last by Etta James slips and falls through the cracks of unrefined tastes. I may not have the money for 3 hours of a 12-piece ensemble. I definitely didn't have the fanciest hor d'oeuvres or biggest guest list. But you better believe my playlist was all class top to bottom with Etta James leading the way. Everybody has sex when this song ends up getting played at a wedding. I can feel the dance floor humidity spike amidst the moist panties as I type this. The anticipation and tempo and tone all lead to one solemn place: penetration. But not the routine stuff. I'm talking good old fashioned love making. 

Save the weird stuff for the Ying Yang twins

A wedding dance floor can take many shapes and forms in both a literal and figurative sense. It could be an LMFAO-based rager in Joliet. You could do a big fancy country club in the western suburbs with a black tie 15-piece brass band. Maybe a north shore wedding on the lake and somebody's dad hires Earth Wind & Fire for 2 hours. You could have a big family wedding with older aunts and uncles tackling love shack. You could go heavy on the college group of friends and do a ton of drugs in the hotel room and get extra weird. The dance floor could be in the middle or it could be tucked away in a corner. Maybe they move tables to accommodate more space. There's plenty of ways to do a wedding dance floor and song list and all that shit. 

The most overlooked critical component is the value of a slow song. One that kind of settles the room and lets the young guys get a drink. The older guys can finally put in their time... I gave you a couple dances now let me go sit down. You can reset the pulse and cool your back sweat. Maybe a time to go get a cig right after or just generally relax around the wedding. Maybe it's nearing the halfway point and you're starting to feel yourself. Whatever the case, nobody thinks about the slow song until it hits. And when it does, you're thankful for a change of pace. 

I don't speak for everyone but I should. This is a simple concept that's consistently ignored and I just want to bring light to it. Everyone's so busy trying to get fast and loose to set the tone. But sometimes the answer is to slow it down and take your time. On that front Etta James brings serious noise. Some Frank Sinatra too obviously. Plenty of classics to sprinkle in just make sure they get sprinkled in and ensure you're in a position to capitalize. Nothing moves a loved one's heart like a soft smile and heartfelt eye contact during a wedding reception slow dance. 

If that's not your style, here are some Other Classics that I considered in the 5th round: 

September, Earth Wind & Fire

Love Shack, B-52's

You Make My Dreams, Hall & Oates

Dancing Queen, ABBA

I Feel Good, James Brown

It's Raining Men, Geri Halliwell

Let's Get It On, Marvin Gaye

End of the day though I want to feel safe and dangerous at the same time. Hit me with Etta James and the romance and don't look back.