A Nurse In London Sued The NHS Claiming She Was Part Of Experiments That Made Her 'Fart Against Her Will' At Work

Cate Gillon. Getty Images.

[Source] - A former nurse has unsuccessfully sued the NHS, claiming that she was subject to 'hypnotic experiments' at work which made her 'fart against her will'.

She claimed at a recent employment tribunal that bosses were trying to "control" employees, making the workplace hot and poorly ventilated to allow their consciousnesses to be altered.

Guess who just found their newest excuse when you let out a little squeaker unexpectedly? Everyone in the world. Except girls. Girls don't fart. Duh. I can't think of anything worse than farting against your will though. Maybe sneezing against your will. Sneezing stinks. You just sit there, you feel it coming and then spit everywhere in your arm. Fucking gross the more you think about it. But farting against your will? That's just walking a tightrope all day, every day. Not knowing if it's going to be loud, quiet, smelly or if you can get away with it. What happens if you're in the meeting and someone is trying to sabotage you getting a promotion? Boom fart in front of the bosses. You don't get that job. 

More importantly here, we'll pretend this seriously happened for a second. What kind of sicko would hold experiments to make someone fart against their will? That's just cruel. It's honestly part of like a TV-14 Disney movie. Maybe ABC Family. That or this is basically the next episode of Mintz Experiment with Billy Football and Mintzy. 

Not shockingly she lost the lawsuit though. Not sure how you win that one.