50th Annual FDNY vs. NYPD Hockey Heroes Game from UBS Arena - TODAY at 4:15pm ETWATCH HERE

Coffee Patrón Is Officially Being Discontinued. Thank God.

Grocer - Bacardí is ceasing production of its coffee-infused tequila Patrón XO Cafe across the globe, The Grocer has learned.

The 35% abv coffee-infused liqueur, well-known as a shot in pubs and bars in the UK, is being cut by the spirits giant to focus on its core range. 

Confirming the move, Patrón Tequila president and COO Mauricio Vergara told The Grocer the business wanted to focus “on growing and protecting production and supply of our core super and ultra-premium tequilas”.

Production of those core SKUs: Patrón Silver, Patrón Reposado, Patrón Añejo and “other Patrón super and ultra premium variants” was ”our top priority”, he added.

Patrón XO Cafe has commanded a relatively small presence in UK retail, though its retail sales grew over the course of the pandemic, rising £550k to £1.9m over the year to 15 May 2021 [NielsenIQ]. At the time of writing, Patrón XO Cafe was still available from Tesco online.

Giphy Images.

Thank God.

I’m pretty sure anybody who went to college in the last 10-15 years can attest to going through a coffee Patrón phase.

I got hooked on this stuff because I was a pussy who couldn’t drink shitty tequila like Cuervo without almost puking my brains out after every shot or gagging uncontrollably. And because I was a poor who couldn’t afford good tequila.

Coffee Patrón, when chilled, was the perfect answer.

It tasted like the best coffee liquore you’d ever had, and got you hammered like any tequila would.

Chicks absolutely loved it, and even guys who doubted it before trying it would be hooked.

When I found a bar that served it, it was like hitting the jackpot.

The only problem was a lot of places didn’t chill it, and serving it warm was it was fucking awful.

And the shit was more viscous than motor oil, so if you got it on your fingers, or on your clothes you were fucked.

Oh yah, and it is straight sugar. I mean pounds of sugar in every bottle of this stuff.

Giphy Images.

So the hangovers were of epic proportion. Like somebody drove a railroad spike through your forehead level bad.

And it’s a miracle those of us that drank this crap like crazy don’t have diabetes from it.

So, knowing how bad the tequila shortage has been for distributors the past year and how much worse it’s going to get, them cancelling Coffee Patrón seems like pretty good collateral damage if we’re being perfectly honest.

Adios coffee Patrón. You had a good run.

P.s. - never realized til coming to Chicago for school that different parts of the country drank totally different beers and liquors and that some stuff wasn’t even available and vice-versa.

For instance, we grew up drinking Coors Light in Massachusetts. When I came to Chicago and suggested buying it I was called white trash. By a majority in favor of Budweiser??? Also- I said the word 30 rack and got looked at like I had ten heads. They do sixers, 12s, 18, and 24s only. And nobody has ever heard of a “package store” either.

Also, we used to drink these vile shots at the bar called “dead nazis”. A thing I’ve only seen in Chicago to this day. A 3 part mix of rumpleminz, goldschlaeger, and Jäegermeister.