You're All Just Too Dumb To Understand Ben Simmons' Sense Of Humor
Tim Nwachukwu. Getty Images.Humor in America is…well…well let's just say that Impractical Jokers has been on TV for 10 years at this point. So how high could the bar be set for humor here in America? Basically all you have to do is make fart noises into a microphone and an American audience is ready to declare you the next great standup comedian. There's no subtlety. There's no wit or craft. It's just dick jokes and Adam Sandler straight to Netflix movies.
What's important to remember here is that Ben Simmons is Australian. And all you uncultured swine are just too dimwitted to appreciate his foreign humor. It's a little too dry for you Dane Cook lovin' headasses to wrap your tiny little minds around. If you couldn't appreciate last night's punchline, well then you probably think that 2 Broke Girls was comedic genius.
I mean the guy spent the entire offseason shitting on his teammates, shitting on his franchise, shitting on his city. He had his agent send out leak after leak after leak to the media. He put his condo in the city and his house in Jersey up for sale. He allowed the team to fine him half a million dollars. Said time and time again that he'd be willing to sit out the entire season if that's what it took to get moved from Philadelphia. And then what happens next?
He just shows up to the building without telling a single soul. Hilarious. Absolutely epic prank.
It just sucks when you then have to go on to explain your joke. Not due to any fault of your own, but because your audience has a giant bowl of mashed potatoes for brains and they only appreciate humor when Amy Schumer says the word "vagina". But don't worry, Ben. I get it. And I can't wait for the "actually I could shoot from range this whole time" punchline to drop soon.