As everyone's favorite chaotician Dr. Ian Malcolm would say at a moment like this, "Life finds a way."
We don't know how far these two starcrossed kids got. Or how far they planned on getting. Or who dimed them out to the police. All we know for sure is that whoever it was doesn't have a particle of romance in their entire body. How else can you explain someone not wanting them to consummate a physical expression of their love?
If the Erectile Dysfunction ads have taught us anything, it's that sometimes the moment is right, and you have to be ready for it. Sometime during the Eagles come from behind win at Carolina, these young lovers got the urge to ... well, come from behind. And nothing was going to get in their way. Not the other 72,543 paying customers. Not a men's room filled with strangers with their stranger dongs hanging out. Not the stagnant puddles of piss and beer and balls of used toilet paper all over the floor. It's beautiful, really. At least it was, until some freedom-hating jerk decided to get The Man involved.
But don't let the bastards drag you down, Girl in the old Nelson Agholor jersey. The rest of the world still loves a lover. And the Eagles still have 12 more games to go. Hopefully they and you will keep winning on and off the field.