(Hit the music before you scroll)
Here is everything that happened in week 5 from the Nationa Football Conference.
There were a shit ton of missed kicks today.
New York Jets at Atlanta Falcons-2.5
Live from London!
When you're trying to grow the game abroad you send your best. Obviously, that meant the Jets and Falcons got the nod.
Kyle Pitts went off in this one.
Zach Wilson struggled..
The Falcons were up 20-3 at the half but the Jets made it a game
But the Falcons sealed the deal
and Matt Ryan finished with 342 yards and two tds.
Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings -10
Playing the Lions will do this to ya.
This was back and forth at the end with the Lions showing massive balls going for two, down 1, with 20 seconds left. And converting.
But then this happened-
Only the Lions…
Post game this happened-
I leave you with the famous words of Sonny from A Bronx Tale (paraphrased).
“Dan Campbell? That's what you're upset about? Mantle makes $2,000,000 a year. How much does your father make? If your dad ever can't pay the rent and needs money, go ask Dan Campbell. See what happens. Dan Campbell don't care about you. Why should you care about him? Nobody cares.”
Miami Dolphins at Tampa Bay Buccaneers -10
I have it on good authority that TB12 is on a warpath to reclaim his single-season TD record this season (and planned to ensure Gronk broke Moss' record before Rob went down with broken ribs and a punctured lung). And after getting stimied last week, he had some making up to do.
Lebron suited up for Miami
So glad New England got rid of AB when they did.
With Gronk out, Brady went to the other huge physical freak on his team.
Totally normal things for a 44 year old QB to be doing.
On the Miami side of things, Myles Gaskin put in WORK on millions of fantasy benches.
Philadelphia Eagles at Carolina Panthers -2.5
Out of all the games that made no sense being close in the witching hour, this was the one that made no sense being close when the Red Zone checked in on it when the Eagles had a chance to take the lead late and did followed by Jalen Hurts doing his best Cam Newton impression.
Unfortunately for Panthers fans, Jets Sam Darnold showed up today
As did Eagles fans, who are always known to travel well…
Go back to your shanties, people!
Tennessee Titans at Jacksonville Jaguars +4
The team attitude in Jacksonville this week?
And that was BEFORE Derrick Henry was running all over them for three (3) touchdowns.
He can't do it again…Can he?
Speaking of ridiculous numbers, here is the kid that broke Derrick Henry's high school rushing record.
Still got a ways to go before the other records are broken Kayleb.
The Jags season is pretty much just a meme at this point, but at least James Robinson has proven last year was no fluke and he's a stud RB1 despite what the team may have thought with their moves in the offseason.
Most importantly, they are keeping things safe in DUUUUUVAL which is important since safety is paramount.
Not so fun when you are on the receiving end, Urb!
San Fransisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals -5.5
This game was nowhere near the exciting, high scoring game you would hope from a Kyle Shanahan vs. Kliff Kingsbury matchup with exciting quarterbacks like Kyler Murray and Trey Lance squaring off. But DeAndre Hopkins brought his bag with a sick grab to seal things late.
Fullbacks are the new black this year.
Annnnnd that's about it. Niners fans got a sneak peak at their QB of the future. Not a lot to recap on 15 completions for 192 yards and a pick. But this throw was pretty nice I guess.
Nick Bosa also was smart enough not to allow Goodell to dip into his wallet after the game.
New Orleans Saints at Washington FBT +2.5
We had a peak Jameis Winston first half today, starting with a brutal pick.
Followed by an absolute BOMB on a dime
Followed by him getting stripped and losing the ball
Then ending the first half with a Hail Mary touchdown
Alvin Kamara was back to doing Alvin Kamara things like when Drew Brees was in town, scoring tuddies on the ground and through the air.
While Antonio Gibson made all his fantasy managers by striking pay dirt twice on the ground.
But it wasn't enough to take down the Who Dats. When Mintzy's happy, everybody's happy. Well other than Washington fans I guess.
New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys -7
A QB that throws a bunch of TDs but is also gonna turn it over at a 50% clip? The Giants definitely have a type.
The Cowboys might actually for real this year.
And that Dak contract looks like a pretttttttty good deal.
Pretty much all of the Giants playmakers got hurt in this game. But Kadarius Toney stayed healthy and did crazy Kadarius Toney things that he used to do at Florida
The Giants may have found another one.
It got ugly late in this one. Right after Joe Buck finished wiping his mouth from slobbing on Toney, the guy goes and pulls this
That's it from the NFC. Stay tuned for the AFC round up.