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It Is With A Heavy Heart I Must Inform Everyone That The Bengals Have Committed Another Nonsense

What the fuck is Mike Brown's problem, man? The man has a franchise quarterback that everyone loves, weapons everywhere on offense, and a defense that is top 5 in DVOA for a 3-1 team. Yet the man has his coaches conducting press conferences on carts straight from an elementary school classroom.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to disparage that glorious cart. Far from it. If you see that bad boy get rolled into your class, you had as much dopamine as a kid could legally have rush into their brain because you knew you were getting a movie or at worst some overhead projector time with the lights off, which was a free pass to stop thinking for at least a half hour. 

But you can't be using that beautiful piece of nostalgia on wheels as a podium for an NFL team. Or a college team. Or even a high school team. What the fuck Mike Brown? Be better and pay whatever a podium costs for yourself, your improving young team, and most importantly the wonderful people of Cincinnati who deserve a consistent winner!