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Here's everything that happened in the American Football Conference in week 5.
There were TWELVE p.a.t.'s missed yesterday. 12.
New England Patriots at Houston Texans +7.5
This was a wild one in Houston. The first half was all Texans.
New England was missing four offensive line starters in this one, and Mack Jones felt every bit of it. This team needs to protect Mack Jones before he breaks into a million pieces.
The Texans pulled a bizarre "fake punt but actual punt" play which resulted in them kicking it off the up man for a huge Patriots turnover.
From there the tide turned, New England got their shit together, and saved their asses from a week of hell with Belichick.
But not before both teams botched some field goals.
Cleveland Browns at LA Chargers -2.5
This one was a straight-up track meet that saw 200 points scored.
The Browns own goaled themselves so they would have a chance to pull off a last second win instead of putting fate on a Chargers' kicker's foot, which almost always ends poorly for the Chargers.
It wouldn't be a Chargers game without some crazy play deciding things, which this "penalty: certainly qualifies as
Green Bay Packers at Cincinnatti Bengals +2.5
First off -
Secondly, Ja'mar Chase is a freak show
Remember all those missed kicks I mentioned? Well the last guy you'd ever think was responsible for 1/4 of them.
Aaron Jones gonna Aaron Jones
This poor bastard thought he hit his kick and celebrated.
Tough scene. But don't pretend you haven't been there. We've all thought a wide or short kick was good and lost our shit before.
Denver Broncos at Pittsburgh Steelers +1.5
Big Ben still got it?
Chase Claypool definitely still has it and Big Cat almost got Jersey Jerry's pizza because of it
The Steelers may be without Juju for the rest of the season after he hurt his shoulder.
Courtland Sutton was questionable heading into the game after tweaking his ankle in practice during the week but he looked pretty good here to keep the Broncos alive.
The Steelers D came through at the end when it mattered most.
However the star of the day may have been Melvin Gordon, who did about as good of a job battling Caleb's interview face as one can do.
Chicago Bears at Las Vegas Raiders -5
Matt Nagy named Justin Fields as the starter going forward and he was quickly rewarded with Fields' first passing touchdown.
Kid already has the swagger of a vet.
Khalil Mack Revenge Game?
Khalil Mack Revenge Game.
Buffalo Bills at Kansas City Chiefs
Who was saying this was a regression year for Josh Allen?
Each week the Chiefs look more and more beatable. And old.
This game saw a wild lightning storm move in at halftime, which resulted in a nearly 2 hour delay, which resulted in an already drunk crowd (from an entire day of tailgating)
Which led to people getting even drunker with no game to watch and caused scenes like this -
For anybody who missed it because they were sleeping, Josh Allen was doing crazy Josh Allen things other than being really, really, ridiculously tall.
Tonight we've got the Indianapolis Colts at the Baltimore Ravens -7 (46)