NASA is About to Shoot an Asteroid in the Face Just for Target Practice
There's nothing I love more than when humanity takes a step in the direction to intergalactic domination. I am of the opinion that every single ounce of resources should be committed to tea bagging space. I want us to be the ones who knock when it comes to the cosmos. I want us to be the ones who probe. So when I saw that we are going out of our way to permanently reconfigure the face of an innocent little asteroid. I was ecstatic.
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Allow me to give it to you in a nutshell, in my own words. This mission is being orchestrated by NASA and is called DART. Which stands for Double Asteroid Redirection Test. Right off the bat, that acronym is a huge miss. They should have called it ANAL (Asteroid Nullified America Lives) But acronyms have never been their strong suit so we move onto how they get to the asteroid. Now this may come as a surprise to you but NASA is A-S-S at making rockets. Because of this they had to go to SpaceX to get a rocket from Elon. The SpaceX rocket will take them to the defenseless asteroid so that NASA's DART, can skull fuck it. Pretty simple right? Not so fast. This brings us to the final character in this cosmic gang bang. The Italians. The Italians are providing a small satellite called Licia, which will follow DART and film the blood bath. Licia is basically the same thing as a middle schooler who films two students beating the brakes off of one another while yelling "WORLD STAR!" Except in an Italian accent. So those are the players. The pencil pushers at NASA, Elon, and an Italian lady with a camera. Earth's finest.
Now we move on to the poor little asteroid...
The purpose of this test is to see if we are capable of throwing an asteroid off of its course should one come directly at Earth. Now the asteroid who we aim to make our bitch is called Dimorphos. Dimorphos has done nothing wrong. Its current orbit will never cross over Earth's. It's just floating through space unaware that it's about to get cold cocked by an ion powered all American satellite thats being trailed by an Italian cinematographer. In fact it's actually a tiny asteroid that is orbiting a bigger asteroid called, Didymos. They are like the space version of Kong and Diddy Kong. Basically it's a henchmen. A nobody. Which is why it's a perfect target to whack. We will shoot this thing in the face and dump its body on the marsh just to see if we have the stomach for it. It's also a perfect target because its orbit takes it right into Earth's backyard which makes for an easier shot. This whole operation can best be summed up by the sniper mission from Call of Duty Modern Warfare.
The greatest mistake Dimorphos ever made was orbiting near us because now it's about to fuck around and find out. In September 2022 DART is scheduled to collide with Dimorphos at 15,000 km's an hour and it's GG's for that little floating rock.
So there it is, theres my thorough and dynamic explanation of a billion dollar space test that could one day save our society. Below is a video that explains the real science of the whole operation. It's pretty cool but idk why you would need it after what I just gave you.