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Only 364 More Days Until Next Year's Hockey Tryouts. Gotta Toughen Up

First of all, just think about how much money you're wasting on that gym membership right now. You're over here pissing away your hard earned money each month when in reality, the only thing you need to get friggin' jacked is a couple of buddies with a Mitsubishi Eclipse. 

But the real moral of the story here is that dudes? Well to put it as simply as possible--dudes rock. They rock the hardest. Because how long have humans been on this planet? A few hundred thousand years, give or take? Well no offense to the massive female audience I always have reading my blogs (sup?), but you could leave the ladies on this planet for another 300,000 years and they'd never decide to try to vehicular manslaughter their friend just for fun. Just to see if she's strong enough to handle it. But that's just another Friday afternoon for the fellas. Crack open a few cold ones, throw on some Metallica, kiss each other on the lips, and try to squeeze each other to death via Honda Accord. Brings a tear to my eye. Hell yeah, brothers.