Urban Meyer Apologizes To The Jaguars Team For Being Extremely Horny And Possibly Having An Untimely Erection

The story of the weekend, at least for Jaguars fans and Urban Meyer haters, was that the head ball coach was out on the town at his restaurant in Ohio getting shitfaced and having a grinding dance session with a lovely young woman. The internet loved it. Rumors started to swirl about if ole Urban would resign from the 0-4 Jaguars in order to focus on his family and his faith as he's been known to do. 

Well, it appears that it was just a one-time dick grind event because now everything is completely smoothed over after Urban issues the most heartfelt apology of all time by taking a page out of Portnoy's playbook to be the first to put his hand in the air and take responsibility. Let's give it a listen. 

I mean, if people are trying to get you out on the dance floor, you go. That's simple respect. The people who don't go to the dance floor are so rude. You're having a couple of drinks. Why not just set down your pocketbooks and let those feet do the talkin, twinkle toes?

I totally get goin up there is fucking embarrassing. But, he should be VERY glad that he's coaching in Jacksonville instead of New York, Philly, or Chicago. Those markets would have eaten him alive for something like this. Instead, he stands up there with his head down talkin about being a distraction and the team forgives him because they are focused on the Titans. 

All that leads me to see and hear that Urban's heart might not be in this Jaguars' gig for the long haul. The rebuild might be tougher than he expected. The league might be tougher than he expected. Coaching again might not be as fulfilling as he once expected. That all probably means he wont be the coach of the Jaguars as long as I expected. 

Oh well. We gotta a game to lose on Sunday. 20 losses straight don't come easy so we gotta get our minds right. We're on to Tennessee even though the little lady at the bar with Urban was the only 10 I see.